What Do You Want?

T ell me, darling: What do you want?  No.  I’m not talking about unlimited books, a trip to Paris, a perfect relationship or a killer wardrobe that fits your (now) size 4 svelte body.

I’m asking you what your heart most desires so that your soul can soar.

Don’t get me wrong.  There’s not a damned thing wrong with going to Paris, having an endless supply of books, being thin with a lovely wardrobe, and being in a loving relationship.  There are times when I have wanted all those things.

The thing is, having any one – or all – of those things doesn’t automatically make life perfect.  Eventually, you’ll get tired of the perfect man and reading books in Paris café’s.  Because-  no matter where you go and who you are with – there you are.

You need to learn about your wants.  Not just the surface desires for physical things – and the roles society expects you to play.  If you don’t gain clarity around your deepest desires, then everything that is, on the surface, perfect, won’t feel that way.

There is no magic pill – no magic place – no magic person – that will “fix” things for you.

In fact, let me be clear: you are not broken and do not need to be fixed.   You just need to gain clarity around what you most want in life.

Maybe you’re like me: you’re just a little tarnished.

Sure, you’ve made your mistakes, but the emotional baggage, battle scars, grey hairs, and laugh lines are a part of your hero’s journey.  I know that they have been part of mine.

Know what clears away tarnish?  Polish.

And to be frank with you, I kind of like that patina of the tarnish on me.  I wear it well.  In fact, I’ve earned it.

Embracing the shiny – and tarnished – parts of me makes me more in love with who I am in this moment, who I was in the past, and who I will be tomorrow.

Look.  I know within the deepest recesses of my soul that you desire and deserve to be happy.  You deserve to be the most playful, sassy, and sexy version of you.

To dig around and uncover that,  you just may need a little help.

Let me help you.  Let me hand you a cloth and some polish and help you discover the shine that gleams beneath the layers of life.

I’m a big believer that being asked the right questions is the beginning to moving yourself along in the right direction.

And by right direction, it’s not one that anyone chooses but you.

Only you can define what happy looks like to you.  Only you can define what satisfaction feels like.

I know that this is scary territory for some.  I cannot tell you the umpteen times that I have sat across the table from (or at the other end of the phone) from someone who realized they were afraid of the answers even more than of the questions.   Change is scary for all of us.

But time, and time again, I have also witnessed the discovery of that one elegant idea or pivotal question that sparked that first step to begin living life fully.

Let me assure you, darling.  I have faith in you.

Faith that you  can find your heart’s desires.  That you can be happy.  That you can feel joyful and satisfied and proud.  Faith that you can discover the answers that are right there inside you.  Answers  that will guide you beyond the pain, the numbness, and the fear of simply existing.

It starts with facing the simple question of “What do I want”. And answering it with truth.

Discover who you really are – and what you really desire.

Tell me, darling, what one step can you take in the direction of your heart’s desires?  I’d love to hear about it, so let me know here in the comments.

PS – If you aren’t quite sure where to begin, let me give you a helping hand.  Join me beginning Sunday, September 16th  for my eCourse   Discovering Your Heart’s Desires.

30 Days of Soul Digging.   30 Days of the the kind of questions and prompts designed to help you clear out the brain clutter that is drowning out the voices of your heart and soul.  Designed to help you gain clarity by getting to know yourself and what the core of you really want.  Every day of the program, you will get an email with a writing prompts and exercises that will help you to dig down into your core, push aside the things you think you “should” want, and get down to what your heart really wants

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By Debra Smouse: Writer, life coach, and Tarnished Southern Belle, Debra helps people fall in love with their life. An expert de-tangler, she believes in busting clutter as a path to greater clarity and that within every woman is vibrant, passionate, and sexy being just itching to make their inner sex kitten roar. A native Texan, she resides in Ohio with the Man of her Dreams.

19 Responses to “What Do You Want?” Subscribe

  1. Blaze July 19, 2012 at 11:11 am #

    Amazing blog post Debra!

    So often we women, especially at mid-life find ourselves talking about the good old days, the times before gray hair and wrinkles.

    Cheers to you for reminding us all about “the polish” as way to embrace all of us, the woman we’ve become today–to love her, honor her, and celebrate her!

    Blaze
    Blaze recently posted…What is the Biggest Threat to Your Independence?My Profile

    • Debra July 20, 2012 at 1:48 am #

      Thank you, dear. It feels good to come home to myself and I know that the love and acceptance I have found will work for any one in their own magical way.

  2. Mindy Crary July 19, 2012 at 2:05 pm #

    Asking “What Do I Want” is such a great all-purpose tool, because some days it’s all I can do to figure out what I want in that present moment–whereas other days I have the energy and verve to shout WHAT DO I WANT? and map out my entire next 5 years!! :o)
    Mindy Crary recently posted…If You’re Trying To Improve Your Finances, Do ThisMy Profile

  3. Joanna Z. Weston July 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm #

    Yes! “What do I want?” is such an immensely powerful question! If I get too stuck on the surface desire (but I really want a cupcake/cat/car/coat!), then I like to follow it up with “Why do I want this?,” to get at the deeper desire.

  4. An July 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm #

    What do you want that makes your heart sing and your soul soar? That’s such a powerful question, Deb. And it makes us dive deeper than just listing the things we think we’re supposed to have or do or want (but that really drain us instead of energize us).
    An recently posted…31 fail proof ways a perfectionist talks herself out of doing something.My Profile

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