W e’ve been exploring a variety of facets around the topic of feeling around here lately: allowing yourself to feel, choosing how you want to feel, fastlass_gilelvgrenand using that as a way to create goals that are meaningful.

Now, you may be poo-pooing me with the notion that “goals” sound rigid.  You may have set goals in the past, but even if you achieved them you didn’t get the sense of accomplishment you expected.  Or maybe  you never got very far along the path to reaching them.

Darling,  that can change by changing how you approach it.

If you haven’t yet done the work to figure out how you want to feel, do that first, kitten. (Refer to last week’s blog Your Heart’s Desires: How You Want to Feel? – or do the exercise in my free e-book)

Why? Baby, look at it this way.

You come up with goals and visions for the areas of your world – personal and career.  You believe that if you actualize that goal, it will give you a level of feeling successful, worthy and satisfied. But if you set goals based on external inputs only, it’s challenging to feel any level of satisfaction or success because the goals weren’t really your heart’s desires.

Oh, and if you never got very far along the path to achieving your goals? We’ll get to that.  Promise.

The next step to creating truly meaningful goals is to dive into your dreams.

“Men are not free when they’re doing just what they like. Men are only free when they’re doing what the deepest self likes. And there is getting down to the deepest self!  It takes some diving.”—D. H. Lawrence

It’s time to great a big-ass-list of hopes and dreams and desires and goals. The best way I know to do this is old-fashioned brainstorming.   Consider these questions:

  • Who do you want to be?
  • What do you want to have?
  • What do you want to create in this world?
  • What would you do if you could not fail?
  • What do I want in the short term and the long term?
  • Think about the forest and the leaves on the trees.
  • What big things do I desire?
  • What tiny inklings of desire to do I have?

Set a timer for 10 minutes (so that you don’t over-think it) and empty all of those dreams and desires onto the page. Once you create a list, then it’s time to edit it down.

Anything that smacks of “I should want” or “I’m expected to” gets crossed off the list.

After you list has been cleared of what others want and reflect your desires, then, it’s time to hone your focus.  You do this, by choosing only one or two goals to work towards.  Too many goals will scatter your focus and you won’t get anything done.  Trust me.

You can dream big.  You can create soulful intentions.  You can lay solid goals with milestones.  But unless you take action, you’ll just spin your wheels.   You get clear about how you want to feel and then you begin doing things that make you feel that way. Yes, my dear, there is a very important component to living the life of your dreams…

Actually living.

You can create novels and symphonies in your head, but until you put pen to paper and record them, you’re not a writer nor a composer.  You’re a dreamer. But I want you to achieve your dreams, and you aren’t going to be able to do that unless you take action.   Don’t get me wrong.  I love dreaming.   I’m a huge fan of day dreams.  I applaud you being a dreamer.

But taking action?

Darling, this is how you move into the Winner’s Circle of your own life.

Now, sometimes, the mere thought of taking action can feel paralyzing.   It’s scary. It can seem like the scariest thing in the world.  Why?  Because, baby, when dreams are big they feel unreachable.  And so, it’s too scary to even begin, because, honestly, where DO you begin, right?

The truth, though, is that that there’s a way to make dreams a part of your reality. By approaching it the way you would eat an elephant.  Not in one single giant bite, but little pieces that are easier to swallow.

The actual way to achieve big dreams is to take tiny steps forward.  Recognize that sometimes a step forward may mean a step back as well. When you break down the steps of what needs to be done to achieve a goal, then it removes big pieces of your fears.

Better yet?  You’ve created your very own road map to the Winner’s Circle of your life.

And this is where the real magic happens, darling. 

You see, darling, you don’t one day wake up and your dream has magically come true.  Nope. You wake up and realize that you are living your dream because you’ve done the work to make it happen.

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By Debra Smouse: Writer, life coach, and Tarnished Southern Belle, Debra helps people fall in love with their life. An expert de-tangler, she believes in busting clutter as a path to greater clarity and that everyone woman is vibrant, passionate, and sexy being just itching to make their inner sex kitten roar. A native Texan, she resides in Ohio with the Man of her Dreams.

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