I am guessing that you are a lot like me: you have big dreams and goals.
You want to be in a loving relationship. You want to write a book. You want to spend your summers at the beach.
You tell yourself: I want to be in a relationship where my partner loves me exactly as I am, warts and all. (But first, I need to lose 20 pounds.)
You tell yourself: I want to write a book that changes the world. (But I can’t do that until I quit my job.)
You tell yourself: I want to be happy. (I will be happy when I lose some weight, sell my first novel, and get married.)
I have to be honest with you: if you are waiting for things to CHANGE before you get IT, then you’re going to be waiting a long time. Let me tell you something, sweetie: the time is now.
Don’t get me wrong. I believe to the depths of my soul that you can be happy. I believe that you will write a series of bestselling novels. I believe that you can find love. But in order to accomplish those big dreams, you’ve got to make peace with yourself as you are in this very moment.
Yep. That’s what I said: In order to live in the zone, you have to accept yourself exactly as you are in this moment.
Acceptance doesn’t mean that you are choosing to remain stuck; instead, you are choosing to end the argument with reality. Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is, has said that if you argue with reality, you will lose 100% of the time.
I’ve had the arguments with my own inner critic. I’ve listened to the voices that tell me that I’m not good enough – that I don’t deserve to be happy.
From the moment I began to make peace with myself, with exactly who I was on that day, my life began to transform. I began to forgive myself for not being perfect. I began to forgive myself for past mistakes. I let go of the self-image of a women who didn’t deserve to have fulfilling work or be in a healthy relationship and have discovered that I am more than worth the most powerful love of all: the love of myself.
So, I challenge you today to smoke a peace pipe with yourself. Accept the amazing person that you are in this moment so you stop resisting reality. In fact, give your soul the power of the written word and create a peace agreement with yourself. When you write things down, it allows your lizard brain, your inner critic, and your heart to work together instead of against each other.
I’ve made it super easy for you: download a Peace Agreement by clicking here. Need ideas for what you should write? These are some of the items from my personal Peace Agreement
- I will embrace my imperfection
- I will not judge or criticize my ideas or dreams.
- I will not wait to wear my good perfume, my nice underwear or use my good linens.
- I will eat without guilt.
- I will not beat myself up for getting off course.
- I will observe myself with compassion.
- I will be curious about actions I take that don’t align with my goals.
- I will recommit regularly to my dreams.
- I will make time for rest and for play, because my body and soul deserves both.
- I will allow myself to feel – I will laugh and I will cry. I am human and am allowed to feel.
- I will honor myself by saying “no” to things that don’t align with who I want to be and saying yes to those things that do.
- I will love myself completely.
After you create your peace agreement, share it with someone. Putting your intentions out to the universe is a powerful gift. If you don’t know who to share it with, mail it to me. (yes, even if you aren’t a current client). Now – print it out or handwrite a couple of copies. Post it in your office. Post it on your closet door. Read it every morning before you go to work. Read it every night before you go to bed.
When you make peace with yourself, you will find that your actions will be kinder to your soul. When you make peace with yourself, you will find that you make regular steps into courage. Acceptance and self-love makes you strong and independent. Acceptance also allows us to make the changes in our life we desire from a place of love. The bonus is that when you begin to love yourself, you also allow others to love you – the real you. And you – the real you – is utterly fabulous.
So how about it? Make a comment and let me know that you’ve created you’ve created your peace agreement. Share some examples of what is in your agreement. And again, don’t hesitate to email me your agreement
(Image is: Peace Offering by Gil Elvgren)
PS – If you want some help, click here for a free download of your Peace Agreement.