If you were to ask me what one of my superpowers is, I’d probably tell you it’s my ability to get stuff done. Yep, I like to set a goal or objective and dive in. And the thing is, most of the time, I prefer to do it on my own. Because, of course,who can do it better than me? But the thing is, this approach can sometimes backfire. That’s because my ego can get in the way and keep me from asking for help. Even when I know I really need it.
When I was first working with my Myers-Briggs (hello, I’m Debra and I’m an ENTJ), the psychologist I was working with was helping me set professional goals. She pointed out that one of my biggest challenges was my tendency to believe I could do things best on my own. That asking for help may feel like a weakness to me.
That statement has stuck with me over the years. Because I do tend to see asking for help as a weakness. Or as if I’m putting myself in the role of “victim”.
Yet, time and time again, when I am brave enough to ask for help, I realize that I don’t have to be the one with all of the answers.
We find ourselves struggling with moving forward somewhere, yet refuse to ask for help. Maybe we think it will mean we are weak. Even worse, we may believe that the inability to “unstick” ourselves means we’re total failures at life. When it comes down to brass tacks, though, my dear, we are wired to connect with other humans.
No matter how strong or independent we may be, sometimes asking for help is what we most need. In fact, here are eight irresistible reasons you should set your ego aside and ask for help.
1 – Asking for help is a sign of wisdom
None of us has the answer to every one of life’s challenges. Seeking assistance from someone with more knowledge or experience is always better than struggling. It means we are wise enough to recognize our personal strengths and limitations.
2 – Asking for help is a way to practice courage
Admitting that we don’t know everything can be scary, but the more we step into courage, the more courage we grow.
3 – Asking for help makes us stronger
There is a synergy formed when we work with others on a common goal, bringing an undeniable strength to a project. Even when you aren’t activity together, that group energy carries forward, making you a stronger individual.
4 – Asking for help gives us valuable perspective
Sometimes, we are so close to something that we can see only one path. Talking something over with someone can help us to see alternative paths. Often times, the person we go to for help sees a better side of us than we can see. Why limit your options? This is why it’s great to work with a coach or mentor.
5 – Asking for help means that you learn about receiving
Sometimes we block the greatest gifts in the world because of an inability to receive. But asking for help isn’t just an admission that we need support, it’s also an opportunity for someone to give it. I don’t know about you, but I love the feeling I get from giving to others.
6 – Asking for help means we have more time to do our stuff
No one is good at everything. When we get help on something we aren’t so good at, it frees us to spend time on areas where we excel. I recently hired someone to do some changes here on the website because after three hours of searching for one tiny piece of code, I only found myself more frustrated. I found someone who could complete it in less than an hour. Why was I slowly torturing myself over one line of elusive code when I could be writing or coaching?
7 – Asking for help allows us to build trust within relationships
Asking a spouse, co-worker, sibling or acquaintance for assistance grows the relationship. It builds intimacy. It strengthens connection. It allows our partners to give, to feel as if they are contributing to the relationship. It allows our partners to see us at our most honest and vulnerable. It will also help your partner see the value in asking for help from you when he/she needs it.
8 – Hiring help allows us to stimulate the economy
Whether it’s hiring someone to help with a website, clean your house or mow your lawn, hiring someone to help you with something puts money into the economy. It also puts a little something in the other person’s emotional bank. It’s a recognition that we can give to others of our resources while they give to us of their talents.
The willingness to ask for help helps you take your life to the next level in so many good ways.
Setting your ego aside allows you to stronger and more independent. Yes, it takes a bit of courage. And the rewards are well worth it. So, what are you waiting for? Where could your life be even better if you just asked for a little help?
I have no doubt that you can achieve your goals. And I also know that sometimes, the best way to make progress on those goals is to get an ally on your side. Coaching can be an amazing way to get the support you need in making real progress.
Coaching allows you to talk through your challenges and go more deeply into your desires. Do you desperately need support around your crazy-busy life? You can find details about packages and pricing here.
Get in touch or drop me an email at: debra AT debrasmouse.com and we’ll schedule a call to see if we’re a good fit.