Avoiding Avoidance: Five Gentle Ways to Stop Putting Things Off

Avoiding avoidance is something we all struggle with. The email you keep meaning to answer. The laundry you move from the bed to the chair to the basket. The thoughts you promise yourself you will deal with later. Avoidance feels like relief in the moment, but over time it quietly drains your energy. It takes up space in your mind, adds invisible weight to your day, and can make other things harder to face.

Avoiding avoidance – aka procrastination – is part of being human. And it’s a way to erode self-trust. You make a promise to yourself and then break it. And while it would be so easy to say “well, just stop!”. But that’s just beating yourself up. Avoiding avoidance is not about forcing yourself to power through every task or uncomfortable feeling. It is about freeing up mental space by facing the things you have been putting off, even in small ways. It is about reclaiming energy that avoidance quietly steals.

This is a gentle practice, not a high-pressure productivity hack. And it helps you build (or rebuild) your self-trust.

So What Does Avoiding Avoidance Mean?

Avoiding avoidance is simply the habit of putting off tasks, thoughts, or emotions that we know we need to face. It shows up in little ways, like ignoring emails, delaying chores, or brushing aside uncomfortable feelings. Learning to notice it and take small intentional steps forward frees mental space and builds self-trust. Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward reclaiming energy and creating more ease in your life.

Here are five ways to begin, each with a simple approach you can apply right now.

One – Start Tiny

Choose one thing you have been putting off and give it ten minutes. Not an hour, not an entire day. Just ten minutes. Sometimes the hardest part is simply starting. That small action creates momentum.

For example, if you have a pile of papers to sort, set a timer and start with just one stack. If it is an email, write a quick draft without worrying about perfection. Even small steps, like clearing off a counter or responding to a short message, help break the barrier of resistance. Breaking things into tiny increments makes them approachable and builds confidence that you can handle the task. Over time, these small actions add up to a sense of accomplishment and ease that carries forward into other areas of your life.

Two – Make it Visible

Write a short list of the tasks, responsibilities, or thoughts you keep sliding down your to-do list. Don’t judge them, just notice them. Seeing the pattern helps you reclaim your attention and gives a sense of control. And you might find that just seeing it on paper makes it easier to prioritize.

Create a list in your notebook or phone and highlight the items that feel most urgent or have been on your mind the longest. By externalizing what you have been avoiding, you reduce the background noise in your mind and make it easier to take the next step. Even a simple visual reminder can make a task feel smaller and more approachable.

Three – Pair it with Pleasure

Add a small reward to the ritual. Pour your favorite drink, light a candle, or cue up a comfort show while you start. I like a matcha latte myself. The point is not bribery; it is creating a gentle association with showing up for yourself. Resistance softens when there is a little kindness built into the process.

For example, you might decide that folding laundry earns you a short walk outside or a moment with a favorite song. Even seemingly mundane tasks can feel lighter when paired with something that brings a little joy. These small rituals help train your brain to associate effort with positive feelings instead of dread, which makes it easier to keep showing up over time.

Four – Check Your Stories

Understanding the story you are telling yourself – what’s behind the avoidance – helps you meet it with compassion rather than criticism. Ask yourself why you are avoiding something. If you may want to do this in your journal.

- Are you anticipating how hard it will feel?
- Does the task feel overwhelming?
- Are you afraid that it won’t be “perfect” enough? (Perfection will always halt you!)
- Is it simply something that needs to be done but is boring?
- Does it stir up uncomfortable feelings you don’t want to face?
- Are you imagining worst-case scenarios?

Reflect for a moment on what thoughts arise when you consider doing the task. Simply noticing these patterns reduces their power. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I cannot handle this right now,” remind yourself that starting small is enough. Meeting your own resistance with understanding strengthens your self-trust and helps you approach tasks with curiosity instead of fear.

Five – Celebrate the Follow-through

Each time you handle something you have been avoiding, you build trust with yourself. You prove that you can stay with discomfort and move through it. That confidence becomes fuel for other areas of life. It is important to pause and notice the effort you made. A small acknowledgment can reinforce the habit and create positive momentum. This could be a simple nod to yourself, a quiet moment of recognition, or jotting a note in your journal.

Actually, I’m a big fan of taking it to the page. So, take out your journal and write it down! This gives you evidence that you can do hard things.

Celebrating the follow-through does not need to be elaborate; it is the act of noticing that matters. Recognizing progress, no matter how small, helps cement the habit of facing what you have been putting off and strengthens your self-trust over time.

Avoiding avoidance is not about perfection.

It is about returning to yourself with patience, a little at a time, and creating more space for what truly matters. The more you practice this gentle presence with your tasks, thoughts, and emotions, the easier it becomes to face what matters most. Over time, those small acts of showing up add up to a life that feels lighter, more intentional, and more aligned with what you truly want.

Even a small weekly commitment, just thirty minutes or even ten-minute increments throughout the week, can shift the energy around avoidance. When you start to meet what you have been postponing, you are reclaiming not just time, but also mental clarity, emotional energy, and confidence in your own abilities. Each small step counts, and it all begins with the willingness to start.