Love is Acceptance

Valentine’s Day is a source of disappointment for some folks. So are anniversaries. We want a romantic rendezvous with our partner and are disappointed because they don’t behave in the way we want. It’s true that accepting yourself is critical to living the life of your dreams, but in addition to making peace with yourself, you also have to make peace with those that you love.

I won’t discount your hurt or disappointment, but I want to encourage you to accept the person you love for who they are.

When we get into relationships, we want our partners to accept us and love us for who we are – warts and all.

And the flip side of that is that we accept the people we love for who they are – warts and all.

I had one of the best Valentine’s Days ever this week. We each worked on Valentine’s Day, doing work that we enjoy. We played a round of golf (on X-Box, thanks to the cold weather). We had a lovely dinner with candles and wine.

The old me would have found fault in the day, but the me of now found perfection in every moment of the day.

The key was in truly accepting my partner for exactly who he is, and in his acceptance of who I am.

I always bring to mind Byron Katie’s thoughts on business: “There are three kinds of business: yours, theirs and God’s.”

I’m not telling you to swallow your disappointment. Allow your feelings of what your expectations of the day were to guide you to what your real desires are. Journal about it and let it guide you to open and honest discussion with your partner about those desires and expectations. Allow your partner to honestly communicate his desires and expectations, as well.

You fell in love with that person in all their perfections and imperfections. Continue to accept them for who they are in the moment.

Accepting those that you love will lead you to accepting yourself – loving yourself – more deeply than you ever dreamed.