When we feel like something in our world needs to give, the natural tendency for most of us is to decide that EVERYTHING needs to CHANGE. NOW. The thing is, darling, it’s impossible to focus on everything at once. Despite the modern tendency to life through multitasking, doing so actually kills your ability to achieve your goals. With all the demands on your attention along with your inner drive to bring your dreams into your reality, it’s important to set your priorities.
But when you want to change it all, then it can feel overwhelming to set those priorities. That’s why time and again, I turn to the tool I’ve used for more than two decades: clearly defining my roles in life.
When I more clearly define my roles, it allows me to set better priorities.
We all wear a dozen different hats in an average day, which is why clearly defining your roles will help you manage your roles efficiently instead of feeling directionless – or wearing the masks of different personas.
Begin by actually writing down your accounts and briefly defining them. Name them in a way that makes sense to you and then be detailed as to what it means to you.
As an example, these are my current accounts:
- Self – health, planning time, personal growth, review time, working with my coach, exercise, etc.
- Spiritual – my own soul work, relationship with God, my Spirit Guide, meditation, etc.
- Romantic – my relationship with my life partner John
- Coaching – my relationships with clients, my courses, my career
- Writing – my soul work, work on my book, regular writing for work
- Relationships – friendships, family, colleagues
- Divine Life – living a daily life, caring for my home, creating great meals
Don’t be so specific that you feel boxed in, yet don’t be so general it’s hard to get clear. I could have lumped “coaching” and “writing” under career, and sure, they overlap in places. However, my core goals are more divergent. After you get your life accounts defined, assign a role to each account.Though it can seem like semantics, getting clear on the actual role for your different accounts will allow you to work it into your life with a greater sense of ease. For example, my role for my “romantic” account is “partner”.
Now ask yourself: What’s important? By ranking your life accounts (and roles) in order of importance, it helps make your real priorities clearer.
Now, kitten, if you don’t put your “self” in one of the top two slots, then let me ask you to re-think that. I know it seems egotistical to put self above career or relationships, however, when you put yourself at the bottom of the list, you are at greater risk for burnout, feeling overwhelmed, and always feeling less than satisfied with life in general. We are in a much better position to serve others when our basic spiritual, emotional, and physical needs are met. It isn’t selfish or egotistical because if you don’t take care of yourself, then you are no good to others.
When you take the time to define your roles, you are able to gain clarity on the vision for your life, which allows you to life the kind of life you really desire. When you are clear on your vision, it allows you to set better priorities. So that your precious time and attention goes towards what really matters.
Are you ready for the secret to focus?
Choose no more than three life accounts to focus on each week (or even each month). These don’t have to be your top three accounts always, because sometimes our most important accounts are in tip top shape, which allows us to give another area of our life some attention.
When you identify your roles and set your priorities, you are able to truly live a daily life you love.
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