Sometimes the idea of a big reset is awfully appealing, especially when life has begun to feel a little too crowded, predictable, or irritating around the edges. You start imagining what might happen if you cleared the calendar, reorganized the house, changed your morning routine, and bought a beautiful new planner. Perhaps you’ll finally become the woman who exercises before breakfast, keeps the kitchen counters clear, cooks actual meals instead of improvising dinner at six o’clock, and remembers to water the houseplants before they begin looking personally betrayed. There’s something delightful about imagining how much better everything might feel once you’ve made a few changes.
And I understand the appeal because I happen to enjoy a fresh start myself. Sometimes rearranging the furniture, cleaning out a closet, or changing a familiar routine really does make everyday life feel more interesting. But before you decide that everything needs an overhaul, it’s worth considering whether you’re craving a whole new routine or simply a little room to enjoy the life you already have. Perhaps there’s something you’ve been meaning to do for yourself, a pleasure that’s gotten lost among everyday responsibilities, or a commitment that’s taking up more time than you’d like. You may discover that the change you’re looking for is considerably smaller than you imagined, which would be rather nice considering how much work you’ve just saved yourself.
Why a Big Reset Can Feel So Appealing
Starting over has excellent marketing. There’s something wonderfully satisfying about opening a brand-new planner, especially before you’ve filled it with appointments, reminders, and all the ordinary things that make up an actual life. Rearranging the furniture can make a familiar room feel fresh again, while cleaning out a closet might inspire you to tackle three more projects before lunch. And who hasn’t experienced that lovely burst of enthusiasm that comes from making a new plan? I happen to love that feeling. Sometimes a change of scenery, a fresh routine, or a good old-fashioned cleanout is exactly what gets us excited about our lives again.
The trouble comes when we assume that feeling restless means everything needs to change. Or that you need to start your new era with a major reinvention. Perhaps you’ve been thinking about rearranging your entire morning routine when what you’d really enjoy is having time to drink your coffee before opening your email. Maybe you’re considering a complete wardrobe overhaul when a few new pieces would make getting dressed considerably more fun. Or you’ve decided you need to become more organized when the real issue is that you’ve agreed to far too many things in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with making a big change when that’s what you genuinely want, but sometimes the pleasure of starting fresh can distract us from smaller possibilities that would make everyday life more enjoyable. And wouldn’t it be nice to discover that you could feel better about your life without having to reorganize every closet, buy another planner, and become an entirely new woman by Monday morning?
What a Little Space Can Show You
This is why a little unclaimed time can be surprisingly useful. When you aren’t immediately answering an email, completing an errand, listening to something, scrolling something, or mentally rehearsing the next five things you need to do, you begin noticing your own life again. The appointment that annoys you every single month becomes harder to dismiss. So does the project you keep saying you want to return to, the person you miss talking to, or the fact that you’ve spent three weeks complaining about something you could simply stop agreeing to.
The good stuff gets easier to see, too. Maybe Saturday coffee has quietly become one of your favorite parts of the week because nobody is in a hurry. Perhaps you’ve started taking the longer way home because you like the drive, or you’ve been reading before bed again and sleeping better because of it. You might realize that church, cooking dinner with music on, puttering around the garden, or watching a completely ridiculous television show does more for your mood than half the supposedly improving things on your list. None of this needs to become a habit tracker or A Practice. Sometimes useful information is simply: my life feels better when this is in it.
You Don’t Need Hours to Hear Yourself Think
Somewhere along the way, we’ve managed to make taking a little time for ourselves sound as though it requires packing a suitcase. Apparently, the ideal setting for reflection involves a charming cabin, a beautiful journal, an assortment of expensive pens, and several uninterrupted hours overlooking a mountain or a lake. Now, I happen to think that sounds like a marvelous way to spend a weekend, and I certainly wouldn’t turn down the opportunity. But you don’t have to escape your everyday life to enjoy a little quiet or spend some time considering what’s going on in your world.
Sometimes ten or fifteen minutes tucked into an ordinary day can be just as satisfying. You might linger over your morning coffee before opening your laptop, sit outside and enjoy the weather, or take a leisurely walk without feeling obligated to listen to a podcast. Perhaps you’d enjoy writing in your journal after dinner, browsing through a magazine, or simply sitting in your favorite chair long enough to finish a cup of tea while it’s still hot. You don’t need an elaborate ritual or another appointment on your calendar to make those moments worthwhile. The pleasure is in giving yourself a little time that belongs entirely to you, without expecting it to produce anything more impressive than a chance to hear yourself think.
Ask Yourself Something Worth Answering
Once you have a little room to yourself, you don’t need to turn the experience into a quarterly review of The State of Your Life. You aren’t preparing a report for the board of directors, and nobody is going to grade your answers. Sometimes one good question is enough to get you thinking about something you’ve been too busy to consider. What have you been looking forward to lately? Is there something that keeps irritating you, even though you’ve been telling yourself it isn’t worth worrying about? Perhaps there’s something you miss doing, or something you’ve wanted to try for ages but never quite manage to give an afternoon. You don’t have to examine every corner of your life to discover something useful about how you’re living it.
And you certainly don’t need to come away from those few quiet minutes with a new list of things to accomplish. You might write a page in your journal, or you may find yourself thinking about the question while folding towels a couple of days later. Sometimes the answer is almost embarrassingly obvious once you’ve given yourself a chance to consider it. Perhaps you’ve known for months that you’re tired of serving on that committee, that you miss painting, or that your mornings were much nicer before you started checking email in bed. We often know quite a lot about our own lives, but between everything we’re doing and everything competing for our attention, we don’t always give ourselves enough quiet to recognize what we’ve been trying to tell ourselves.
Make a Little Room Before You Make a Big Plan
Plans are satisfying because they give us something concrete to do. You can decide that next month you’re going to exercise four mornings a week, clean out the basement, read twelve books, call your mother more often, drink an appropriate amount of water, learn Italian, and finally investigate whatever has been living in the back of that one kitchen cabinet. By the time you finish writing the list, you may need a nap.
A little room before the planning helps separate what genuinely needs attention from what simply looks good written on fresh paper. There’s no point creating a more elaborate schedule if the real answer is that too much has been crammed into the one you already have. You don’t need to recommit to a hobby merely because you once loved it, nor do you have to force yourself to become more disciplined about something that has stopped being important to you. Sometimes the useful realization is not “I need to try harder.” It’s “Oh. I don’t actually want this anymore.” That can save an astonishing amount of time.
You May Not Need a Big Reset After All
There are certainly times when sweeping change is exactly what we need. Sometimes the closet really does need to be emptied, a familiar routine has stopped working, or a commitment has overstayed its welcome by several years and deserves to be thanked for its service before being shown the door. I’m all for making changes that improve your life, whether that means tackling a long-overdue project or finally admitting that something you’ve been doing for years no longer makes sense. But feeling restless or dissatisfied after an irritating week doesn’t necessarily mean your entire life needs to be dismantled and reconstructed before breakfast on Monday.
Before you reach for a big reset, give yourself a little room to figure out what’s behind that desire for change. Perhaps you’ve been so busy keeping up with everything that you haven’t noticed how much you miss something you used to enjoy, or maybe there’s an obligation you’ve continued out of habit even though it no longer belongs in your life. You may discover that a small adjustment would make your days considerably nicer, or you may realize that something more substantial really does need your attention. Either way, you’ll be making that decision with a better understanding of what you want rather than reorganizing half the house because you’ve had an exceptionally irritating Tuesday.
You Don’t Need a Big Reset.
Instead: Make a Little Room to Nourish Your Spirit This Advent
The holidays are lovely, but between the shopping, gatherings, traditions, and ordinary demands of life, it’s easy to reach the end of the year without much time to yourself. The Advent Series: Nourish Your Spirit is a four-week reflective workbook that gives you a little room to pause, catch your breath, and consider the life you’re living.
Through the traditional Advent themes of Hope, Preparation, Joy, and Love, you’ll explore what you’re dreaming of, what you’re ready to release, what brings you delight, and what deserves a little more love and attention. With thoughtful reflections, journal prompts, and practical exercises, you’ll also discover four things to Create, Eliminate, Appreciate, and Amplify as you look toward the year ahead.
No elaborate routine required, darling. Just a little time for yourself, a pen, and perhaps a good cup of coffee.
