Over the years, I’ve discovered that the most life-giving part of my daily routine isn’t my morning coffee (though let’s be honest, I’d fight a bear for that first sip). It isn’t my workout, or even my beloved journaling practice. Nope. The real magic? Keeping promises to myself.
When I actually follow through on what I say I’ll do—for me, not just for everyone else—I create trust, confidence, and a grounded energy that no productivity hack, shiny app, or fancy planner can ever replicate.
That practice—building self-trust—is at the heart of this 5-part series.
And here’s the kicker: when I don’t keep promises to myself? It’s like pulling the rug out from under my own feet. The more I flake on myself, the more I confirm that deep, nasty little whisper that says, “See? You can’t count on you.” And that, my darling, is how we keep accidentally screwing ourselves over.
That’s why building self-trust by keeping promises to myself isn’t just another “nice idea.” It’s the foundation of how I create a life that feels loving, supportive, joyful, and just totally doable.
This practice—choosing to treat my own word like it matters—is the cornerstone of everything else I’ll share in this series. Because let’s be real: nobody else is going to have your back like you can.
Why Promises to Ourselves Matter So Much
Here’s the thing: most of us are absolute rockstars at keeping promises to other people. We’ll rearrange our day not to disappoint a friend, show up early for a boss, and drive across town to get just the right shoes for a teenager we love. But when it comes to ourselves? Yikes. Broken promises practically have VIP status.
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- We say we’ll start that morning walk… then hit snooze and pull the covers over our heads.
- We commit to writing every day… and then romance Netflix until midnight.
- We swear we’ll rest and recharge… but somehow end up scrolling reels on Facebook in bed until our retinas burn.
Sound familiar? Yeah. Me too.
On the surface, these little broken promises seem small, almost harmless. But really? They’re like ants. Tiny, relentless ants nibbling away at your self-trust, your confidence, and your energy. Every time you flake on yourself, the message lands: “You can’t rely on you.”
But flip the script—start keeping promises to yourself—and suddenly the energy shifts. Your brain hears: “I follow through. I’ve got my own back. I can rely on me.” And that sense of integrity? That’s the secret sauce to confidence, peace, and showing up fully in your life.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Trust
If you’re like me, you want to build trust with your spouse, family, and friends by showing them they can trust you. And you do a stellar job at this, don’t you? The same goes for yourself.
When I practice keeping promises to myself, even in small, almost laughably simple ways, the ripple effects are huge:
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- Confidence grows. Every kept promise is proof that I can rely on myself.
- Consistency becomes easier. My brain stops throwing tantrums because it trusts the routine.
- Energy expands. Following through actually fuels me instead of draining me.
- Boundaries strengthen. When I respect my own commitments, I stop letting everyone else’s priorities bulldoze mine.
See? It’s not about perfection, it’s about alignment. That sweetness of proving time and time again that my words matter – especially to me. And when I trust myself? I stop gaslighting my own damn soul.
How I Practice Keeping Promises to Myself
Self-trust isn’t a one-and-done deal. You don’t just declare “I trust myself” once and magically live happily ever after. It’s more like building a muscle—one that sometimes grumbles, protests, or straight-up refuses to cooperate. Some days it wants to sprint. Other days it wants to curl up under a blanket with carbs. But like any muscle, it gets stronger every time you show up. Every rep counts.
Every promise kept—no matter how small—is proof that yes, you can rely on you.
And here’s the thing: self-trust isn’t built through grand, cinematic moments. It’s built in the tiny, almost boring ones. Every night I set up the coffee maker before I go to bed (and trust me, my 6 AM self thanks me for being so reliable!). And it’s like closing the laptop when you said you would instead of squeezing in “just one more email.” Or actually lacing up your sneakers and walking around the block—even if it’s not the marathon you pictured.
Keeping promises to yourself is about all the unglamorous moments of life that just make it a little easier to live. Like choosing to rest when you’re tired, not when you’ve “earned it.” It’s saying no when everything in you wants to people-please your way into exhaustion.
That’s where self-trust grows—in the small, specific, messy, glorious ways you keep your promises to yourself. And no, it won’t always look pretty. Sometimes it’s a sigh, an eye-roll, or a muttered “ugh, fine” as you do the thing. Other times it’s a quiet little celebration that only you will ever see. But every one of those moments matters.
Because showing up for me? That’s not optional. That’s non-negotiable. And honestly—it’s kind of magical.
One – Start Small and Specific
Oh, the classic rookie mistake: going big, going fast, and announcing to the world—or at least to yourself—things like, “I’ll work out every single day for an hour” or “I’ll meditate like a Sam Yo (my favorite Peloton Instructor) every morning, rain or shine.” Spoiler alert: I did not. Not even close. In fact, I mostly ended up binge-watching shows and feeling like a failure. Charming, right?
Now? I keep it delightfully small, ridiculously specific, and actually doable. I’m talking teeny, almost comically easy promises that sneakily change everything. Stuff like:
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- “I will write for 15 minutes after breakfast.”
- “I will walk outside for 10 minutes after work.”
- “I will drink a full glass of water before checking my email.”
Tiny promises might not look flashy, but they are quietly revolutionary. They whisper to you, softly but insistently: “Hey, genius. You can rely on yourself.” Every small promise kept is a mini-mic drop for your self-trust. And over time? Those tiny wins stack up like building blocks, forming real, lasting transformation. Suddenly, the person who once floundered with grand, impossible plans is a person who actually shows up—consistently, confidently, and with a smug little grin at their own cleverness.
Start small. Be specific. And don’t wait: begin today. And watch as your “tiny” promises quietly but ruthlessly rewrite the rules of what you thought you were capable of.
Two – Treat My Promises Like Appointments
Listen, for years I treated my commitments to myself like they were optional—like maybe I’d get around to them if the stars aligned and the kids weren’t screaming and the cat wasn’t planning world domination on my keyboard. Big mistake. HUGE.
Now? I treat my promises to myself like VIP meetings with…well, me. Because spoiler alert: I’m the VIP. The guest of honor. The whole darn gala.
I put them on my calendar like they’re life-or-death appointments. I set reminders that basically yell: “Hey genius, don’t even think about ghosting yourself.” And I guard that time like it’s a secret chocolate stash, a front-row concert ticket, or a vacation I’ve been dreaming about for years—because, honey, it is. Sacred. Non-negotiable.
Every time I honor that commitment, even the tiniest one, I’m shouting to the universe: “I matter. My time matters. My dreams matter.” And let me tell you, it feels like putting on a cape and strutting down Main Street in slow motion. Glorious, unapologetic, and slightly smug (in the best way).
Showing up for yourself like this? This is not selfish nor is it indulgent. It’s self-trust. Instead, you are clearly showing yourself self-respect. And proving to your own soul that deep within is a fierce declaration that you are your own best ally. Each and every promise you keep to yourself is a brick in the foundation of a life that’s unapologetically yours.
So go ahead. Schedule that time. Guard it fiercely. And when you show up for yourself? High-five yourself in the mirror, sip your coffee like the legend you are, and repeat. Because VIP treatment isn’t just for celebs—it’s for you.
Three – Allow Grace Without Guilt
Life happens. The cat barfs on your favorite rug. The kids need you…like, yesterday. Deadlines explode. And somehow, despite your best intentions, the universe still finds a way to trip you up. I used to believe that one slip meant my promise to myself was shattered forever. Cue the shame spiral—fast, messy, and way too convincing. I’d wallow, replay every misstep, and wonder why I even tried. Sound familiar?
Now? I choose grace. Sweet, rebellious, unapologetic grace. Grace that says: “Breathe, darling. This is a pause, not the end.” Grace that hands you permission to reset without dragging guilt around like a heavy, judgmental suitcase. It’s the quiet but fierce reminder that missing a beat doesn’t erase your commitment—it proves you’re human, and humans are glorious, messy, resilient creatures.
Every time you come back, no matter how small or messy the return, you’re actually building resilience, self-trust, and a sneaky little pride that hums: “Yep. I’ve got my own back, and I always will.” It’s the slow-burn magic that says, perfection isn’t the point. The point is showing up for yourself, again and again, even when the world—or the cat, or the boss, or the inbox—conspires to throw you off.
So today, when life derails your plans, hit the reset button without hesitation. Whisper to yourself: “This is a pause, not the end.” Stretch, breathe, sip your coffee (or wine, I don’t judge), hug the chaos, and then show up. Again. And again. And again. Because every comeback, no matter how imperfect, is a masterclass in self-trust. And my dear friend? That’s the kind of magic worth celebrating.
Four – Celebrate Every Kept Promise
Oh, we are so good at beating ourselves up for every little slip, aren’t we? Missed a workout? Skipped your meditation? Forgot to drink water? Cue the shame parade, complete with confetti of self-criticism. But when it comes to celebrating our wins? Crickets. Nada. Zilch.
Not anymore. Now, every promise I keep gets its moment in the spotlight. Sometimes it’s a scribbled journal note with a little doodle of victory. Occasionally, it’s a full-on, fist-pumping, “heck yes!” in the mirror. Often, it’s simply a deep breath, a smile, and the quiet satisfaction of saying, “Yep. I did that.”
Because here’s the magic: celebrating isn’t about bragging, it’s about reinforcing progress over perfection. Every cheer, every pat on the back, every tiny acknowledgment stacks up like mental confetti, building momentum, self-trust, and the unapologetic joy of knowing: I show up for myself, and I honor what I say I will do.
So celebrate. Loudly. Quietly. In your journal. In your head. On the couch with your cat. Celebrate every kept promise, no matter how small. Each one is proof that you are reliable, resilient, and absolutely worth celebrating.
The Most Life-Giving Routine of All
Routines and habits are great—don’t get me wrong—but without trust, they’re just boxes to check, hollow and uninspiring. The real magic—the daily practice that makes my life feel steady, energized, and unapologetically mine—is keeping promises to myself.
Because when I prove, over and over, that I am trustworthy and worthy of care, everything else—my health, my work, my relationships—shifts. It’s not just a habit. It’s a love story. And the main character? Me. Showing up for me, every day, in small but meaningful ways.
This is just the beginning. Next week, we’ll dive into the surprising link between self-trust and consistency. And why even the tiniest kept commitments can radically transform the way you show up for yourself and everyone else.
Journal Prompts to Build Self-Trust
Pick one journal prompt and see where your brain wanders. Come back to it another day if it feels right. No pressure. Just curiosity.
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- Think of one promise you kept to yourself recently, no matter how small. How did it feel in that moment?
- What does that kept promise say about the kind of person you’re becoming?
- Write down one small, specific promise you’re willing to make to yourself this week.
Pro tip: I know what you’re thinking: “I’ll start tomorrow.” Stop it. You know better. Start today. Every promise you keep is a tiny rebellion against self-doubt and a giant high-five to the badass living inside you. Celebrate it. Savor it. Own it.
Building Self-Trust Helps You Grow Your Confidence and Sense of Self
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