I want to share a secret with you, darling.  Deep within you lies a well of wisdom. When I ask you what you most desire, what do you answer?  To be honest, many of you will say “I don’t know” and believe that it’s an honest Vintage Chase and Sandborn Coffee Advertisementanswer.  But here’s the deal kitten:  You do know.  Your heart has the answers.

Sometimes, the desires of our hearts  feel like they’re  lost to us, but the truth is that they not lost;  they are merely buried.  Buried under the “need tos” and the “shoulds” and the “keeping up with the Jones and Smiths.”

I know you may not believe me. Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have believed me.  I was in a miserable, loveless marriage that was sucking all the desire, drive, and creativity from my soul.

So what changed for me?
  • I wanted to stop hurting.  I wanted to stop being miserable and heartbroken and depressed.
  • I wanted to feel again.  I wanted to end the destructive ways I was numbing myself:   food, alcohol, over-exercising, filling my schedule to overflowing.
  • I wanted to be loved for exactly who I was .
How did I change it and discover my inner wisdom?
  • There were lots of tiny steps to begin creating a life I loved and changing where I was.
  • I got help.  Because, baby, sometimes we simply need a guide to find our way back to who we really are, and to what we are meant to create in this world.
  • I realized that I had a choice.  I could choose my thoughts.  I could choose how I wanted to feel I was always in choice.  And I’ll admit that even in recent months, I have to be reminded of this.
  • I learned that when I stopped numbing, I did feel the icky stuff, but it passed. The bonus, though, was that I always began feeling the really wonderful stuff again – happiness, joy, desire.  You see, when you numb the bad feelings, you numb it all.
  • I found gratitude.
  • I cleared clutter.  I ditched all kinds of physical clutter in my world.  I began clearing the crappy thoughts crowding my mind.    All the shitty and hateful voices that told me I wasn’t good enough.
  • I stopped asking those powerless rhetorical questions like “why me?” and began asking the right kind of questions, like “who do I want to be in this world?” and “what do I want to do?”
  • I stopped being a victim in my own life.  It was time to be the heroine of my own story, not the tragically flawed supporting character.
  • I began to explore.  I explored the similarities between myself and others.  I discovered how I was different from my fellow travelers.
  • I began to let go of perfection.   I stopped  trying to make everyone else happy.
  • I allowed the layers to fall away, understanding that sometimes, I would get hurt without my protective walls around my heart.  I learned however, that this allowed me to feel electric and alive.
  • I learned to love again.  I learned to love myself and I allowed myself to fall in love with others.  I learned that by loving myself, and accepting myself for who I was at any particular moment, I could step way the moments of loathing.
  • I learned to trust.  To trust my instincts. To listen to my heart. To trust in others.
  • I learned that the passion I allowed to blossom in my heart was actually a fire that burned away the fears.

Let me be frank, my darling.  These are all lessons I am still learning

After leaving behind the miserable person I was and stepping towards and into a life I was head over heels in love, I came to understand the fact that there is no “there” in this evolution of love and life.  But baby, it’s all about the upward trajectory of finding ways to love life even more.

Darling, you can fall in love with your life.  You can write yourself a permission slip to simply be wholly you.  You can find the ways to being comfortable in your own skin.

You can learn to hear the small quiet voice of your heart to discover the answers you need to live a life your love.

You may just need a little help as you take those steps towards creating the life you desire.

Find a therapist. Hire a coach.   Join a support group.  Create a better support structure. Take a class. Read great books and soak up the wisdom of others as you unearth your own inner wisdom.

Getting help was the first step for me to this life that I love.  And the deep sense of peace that I am evolving into the person I was meant to be.  That I am creating what I was meant to create.


You deserve to fall head over heels in love with your life. You, my darling, are the living embodiment of wisdom. Want some help?

From the 30 Days to Clarity Series: Clearing Brain Clutter: Discovering Your Heart’s Desire
Now Available in Paperback

clearing_brain_clutt_cover_for_kindleWith a collection of 30 intriguing exercises, Clearing Brain Clutter: Discovering Your Heart’s Desire helps you to peel away everything that gets in the way of your truest, deepest desires. By doing the work right inside the book, you’ll learn to create a life that’s more resonant with “the real you” than anything you’ve previously experienced. In short, you’ll forever change your life for the better.

Available on Amazon in Paperback and Kindle .

Or order an inscribed copy from me for $11.95*

*I’ll include the shipping
(US Customers Only – please contact me for International Sales as well as discounts for multiple copies)

If you would like multiple copies for gifts or your book club, drop me an email at Debra AT DebraSmouse.Com for a bulk discount.

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