Six Action Steps to Help You Overcome A Difficult Separation

Separating from a partner, however long you have been together, is always difficult to overcome. The way in which you recover and how long it takes varies from person to person, so it’s important to be gentle and patient with yourself. In the following post, we will cover some advice for how to handle a difficult separation, both for yourself and if you have children. Keep reading to find out more.

One – Talking To a Counsellor

One of the best ways to help yourself work through the aftermath of a difficult separation is to seek counselling. They will be able to help you understand why you’re feeling certain emotions and give you coping strategies to deal with any strong emotions you have. Sometimes your confidence and self-esteem can be severely affected due to a break-up, so they can help you build yourself back up again and get back out into the world.

You will also receive help if you suffer from things such as depression or anxiety. Speaking to a counsellor gives you someone completely unbiased and confidential to express your emotions without any fear of judgment or unhelpful comments. It’s important to find a counsellor with which you feel a good connection, and sometimes it takes trying a few different counsellors to find one with which you have the best rapport.

Two – Giving Yourself the Room to Recover- However That Looks For You

The recovery process for getting over a separation looks different for everyone. Some may bounce back quicker than others or not show their emotions as much. It’s important not to compare yourself with others, especially not with your ex-partner. If you feel like you need time on your own to untangle some complicated emotions, then that’s fine.

It’s also fine to want to get out as much as possible with your friends and take your mind off things. Find what works for you and as long as it’s a healthy way to recover, then allow yourself to embrace it. Leaning on the support of the people who care about you will help you to start feeling better, and it’s good to talk through your feelings with a sympathetic ear.

Three – Cutting Contact with your Ex

For most people, it is helpful to cut off contact with an ex-partner to help with separation. Often, there could still be underlying feelings and a temptation to go back to an unhealthy relationship because of them. There is comfort in familiarity, but that doesn’t mean it’s always the best thing for you. If you find yourself tempted to reach back out to your ex-partner, or they are harassing you with messages and calls, then cut them off.

Blocking their number and social media will give you the space to breathe and focus on yourself. Avoid looking through their social media to see what they are up to and who they are with, as this can stir up more difficult emotions for you to cope with.

Four – Arranging Co-Parenting

If you have children, then this can add extra complications to a difficult separation. Arranging co-parenting can be more difficult if you don’t want to have communication with your ex-partner. However, the arrangements for where your children will spend their time can be organized through a court process to lessen the need for contact. The arrangements for co-parenting should always be done with the wellbeing of the children in mind. It’s important not to let your feelings cloud the best judgments for co-parenting your children with an ex-partner.

Five – Obtaining a Non-Molestation Order if Necessary

If an ex-partner and parent of your children is presenting a threat to the safety of you or your children, you can apply for a non-molestation order through the court. This can prevent your ex-partner from contacting you and your children and give you some peace of mind. This can include any form of abuse, such as physical, emotional, or financial. Visit nationallegalservice.co.uk to find out more about applying for a non-molestation order from the authorities. You can also learn more about the importance of having a family law solicitor work with you.

Six – Working Toward Making A Separation Amicable For Children

For the sake of your children, you need to try and build an amicable working relationship with your ex-partner, if possible. This will make co-parenting easier and will help your children through what can be an emotional, turbulent, and confusing time for them in their lives. Try and repress any negative feelings you have towards an ex-partner when around your children, and avoid talking about them in a negative light.

Trying to turn your children against their other parent will only be upsetting for your child in the long term. As long as your ex-partner is still a good and responsible parent, it shouldn’t affect their relationship with your children even if they don’t have a good relationship with you.