Would it surprise you to hear that the sometimes the thing holding you back from being happy is YOU? No, I’m not saying that you are deliberately trying to be unhappy. What I’ve learned from experience and from my clients is that a lack of self-confidence interferes with the ability to really do the things that lead to feeling happier. So, what’s a gal to do? Rather than pursue happiness, decide to boost confidence in yourself first.
When you take actions that allow you to improve your self-confidence, that increased confidence invites you to make better friends with joyful satisfaction about your own life.
The thing is, you deserve to live a life that feels nourishing and loving. Yet, if you are lacking in confidence, it feels more challenging to follow your heart. That’s why one of the best things you can do for your overall happiness is to boost confidence in who you are. Which always translates into feeling more confident about what you desire, who you wish to be in the world, and how you wish your life to feel.
Here are three easy ways to boost confidence
Boost Confidence by Taking Time to Primp
Remember how you used to primp for a first date? What if you were to take that attitude with yourself on a daily basis? Maybe you believe that there’s nothing special about the average day, but what you are doing is choosing to romance yourself and your life.
Though it sounds obvious, you always feel more invigorated after showering, brushing your teeth, and doing your hair. There have been days when just making the effort to do these things first thing in the morning shifts my mood to feeling happier. And I’m more productive.
While we’re on the subject of taking time to primp, don’t forget to put on make-up or even spritz some perfume on yourself. Science shows doing one or both will boost confidence! A 2011 study on Neurobiology and Reward found that 90% of women felt more confident wearing perfume verses those who don’t. And a study by Harvard found that women who wore lipstick performed better on tests.
After you’ve done your basic grooming essentials, don’t forget to put on a nice outfit. No, not a fancy or expensive outfit. And of course, we all define “nice” differently. I mean put on clothes that make you feel good about yourself. This can vary from a flirty dress in the summer to jeans a perfect long-sleeved tee in the fall. It might even help to create a “uniform” of sorts.
There is a direct correlation between what we wear and what we think of our potential according to a study published in Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Isn’t science amazing when it comes to feeling better about ourselves? What it boils down to is that when you make an effort in how you look, you feel better about yourself. And that, my dear, translates into a confidence boost.
Allowing Yourself to Feel and Be Feminine Can Boost Confidence
I grew up in a time of pink frills for girls and blue trucks for boys. And when I entered the workplace at ABC News, want to know one of the first things I did so I would be taken seriously? I cut everything pink from my wardrobe. No pink suits, blouses, or dresses for me! And you know what? I love pink. And most shades of pink look good on me.
I did it because I believed that in order to be successful, I needed to be “strong” like a man. You know: all masculine energy, forceful with my opinion, and no emotions in the workplace. But the thing is, I was fighting against who I naturally am. And not being myself was eroding my self-confidence.
What I’ve learned though is that embracing everything about your own femininity will naturally boost confidence. See, when I allowed myself to be who I naturally am: nurturing, intuitive, and open to receiving? My confidence in myself and my skills grew. And that has made me a happier person.
And I love what my fellow coach at Orion’s Method advises: “Instead of internalizing the messages we hear so often that feminine bodies are soft and weak, embrace the strength that comes from being a woman.”
So, do yourself a favor. Embrace everything that makes you feel delightfully feminine about yourself. I promise that you will see your confidence grow.
Boost Confidence by Being More Aware of Your Self-Talk
When you are constantly having negative thoughts about yourself or the situation you may be in, it can really keep you from being happy. Yet, learning to manage your self-talk allows you to flip the switch. Speaking kindly and positively to yourself will boost confidence.
In some ways you can shift to the positive by choosing different words. One of my favorite word swaps is changing “have to” to “I get to” or “I choose to”. For example, rather than “I have to go to this meeting and I’m going to suck my presentation.” Say “I get to go to this meeting and show them how well I know this subject.”
Semantics of word choice can boost confidence and help you think in a more positive way. The power of our mind is absolutely mind-blowing. Use it to your advantage.
Science supports that positive self-talk and affirmation can improve job performance, calm your nerves, and boost confidence. The lead researcher in a 2015 study in Personality and Social Psychology said “Anytime you have low expectations for your performance, you tend to sink down and meet those low expectations. Self-affirmation is a way to neutralize that threat.”
So, negative self-talk tanks your confidence. And positive affirmations and self-talk make you feel stronger!
I also like to dive into awareness here, too. Because when you understand yourself and your strengths, you see your own worth. And it allows you to be more comfortable in your own skin. That will certainly boost confidence in your daily life.
Simplistic on the surface, these three tips will help you boost confidence in yourself.
If there’s one thing I know it’s this: confidence is sexy. And when we are confident, we are able to access the smallest things that help us be happy.
And here’s the deal, kitten. When we feel confident in who we are? It helps us be brave. And when we’re brave, we are more apt to take risks. Risks that, in the long run, lead to us unearthing an even better life.
Darling, never forget that love is your birthright. I would never tell you that you can be happy every moment of the day. I can promise you, though, that when you boost confidence in yourself, your abilities, and your life, you will find the path to a happier existence.