Why Prepared People Stress Less

Let me paint you a little picture.

Two people are in an office, and their boss sends both of them the same text on a Tuesday afternoon: ‘Jump on a call in five, need to go over those numbers.’

Person A’s stomach drops.

Their minds are blank, and they immediately start to frantically go through old emails. They’re chugging old coffee like their life depends on it, and they manage to spill some of it on important documents amidst all the chaos. After 10 minutes, they have no idea what exactly they’re looking for, and they’re spiraling.

Person B reads the text and pulls up the document they already had open because they knew this was coming sooner or later. They take a sip of water and wait for the call to connect. Easy-peasy.

Same text, two totally different nervous systems.

The thing we all get wrong about stress is that we think it comes from what happens. You know, the event itself, the surprise of it, and everything that comes with it. But it doesn’t. Stress comes from the gap between what happens and what you need to do to handle it…

And the bigger the gap, the more you panic.

Get Your Foundations in Order

Let me tell you something that doesn’t get said enough: the chaos outside your head is usually what creates the chaos inside your head.

If everything on the outside feels like it’s on the brink of falling apart, your brain can never relax. It’s always looking for the next bad thing that will happen, and the only way that this will change is if you get your foundations in order.

How about we start with money?

It’s a huge source of stress, but you don’t have to win the lottery to quiet down the noise. All you need to do is know where you stand. If you know your essentials are covered, even if something unexpected happens, you can be calm. A small cushion is enough for this, and this alone will lower your baseline anxiety.

It’s not just about having the money but also about understanding what you already have.

Here’s a quick example:

Do you know exactly what your insurance policies cover? Like, ‘exactly’ what?

Because most people only have the general idea, they end up paying for ‘protection’ they won’t even be able to use because they didn’t look at the fine print. Fix that so you’re prepared. You don’t have to become an expert on the subject of insurance, but you need to be familiar with your deductibles and your coverage.

The real magic, though, happens in the small habits.

Automation is one of my favorite ‘cheat codes’ because you can use it to automatically transfer money and then, bills pay themselves. If you set a reminder on your phone to renew your registration, you don’t have to think about it. Simple things like that free up mental space and remove decision fatigue.

This same thing goes for your time.

If you know when you need to be somewhere and how much time you need to get there, don’t wait until the last minute to leave because one wrong turn will send you into a spiral.

This especially applies to your commute. Most days, nothing will happen, but I always remember my friend from Chicago who ALWAYS builds in margin and always knows what to do, no matter the situation. The traffic is crazy, as it usually is in Chicago. No worries because she left 20 minutes early.

Was the bus in an accident? She’ll just hire a shuttle bus accident lawyer in Chicago.

She’s not paranoid, she just doesn’t wait until she’s in trouble to figure out what to do. And that’s the whole point of being prepared.

Train Your Mind to Expect Friction

Life is always trying to trip you. 24/7.

And it’s not that the universe is out to get you or that you got on God’s naughty list, it’s simply how life works. Trains get delayed, expenses surprise you, plans fall apart, people get stupid… That’s life.

So why not be emotionally prepared for it? Why not expect things to go wrong just a little bit? Not in a paranoid way but in a realistic way. You can rehearse the most common disruptions in your mind and, when they happen, you’re not shocked by them because it’s been there, done that for you. The most important thing is that you learn to reframe. A delayed train isn’t a catastrophe, it’s a nuisance (like most things are). But unless you teach your brain that, it won’t know.

Prepared people also see themselves as people who handle things, not as victims. They’ve been through stuff before, and they survived, so they figure they can do it again.

Is it pleasant? No. Can it be done? Sure. Their past isn’t trauma but information they already use.

Control is mostly an illusion anyway, but you can train yourself on how to react.

Conclusion

So what do you do now? Where does all this leave you?

Well… Maybe start to build a small savings cushion. Leave for work 15 minutes earlier than you normally do. If someone cuts you off in traffic, remind yourself that it’s just life and it’s not worth getting stressed about.

Pick one thing and do it right now. Then, see what it does for your mind, and maybe that will motivate you to do something else.

Calm is built, it’s not magic.