‘Cause Life Isn’t Certain: 9 Traits to Cultivate

W e make decisions each and every day. We choose what to put in our cup in the morning (tea or coffee? Lemon? Sugar? Cream? Gypsy by Gene PresslerCaffeinated? Decaf? Herbal?) and what shoes to put on our feet before we walk out the door. We make bigger decisions, too. Like where to invest for retirement, what car to drive, and where we will be spending the holiday.

Sometimes, though, you find yourself on the precipice of a decision not quite sure which way to go. You stand on that tiny space between gut intuition telling you to take a flying leap of faith and logic arguing with you that you don’t yet have enough data. We hesitate. We hem and ha.

We agonize. We over-analyze. We waver on this line of decision without acknowledging the fact that our lack of decision is actually a decision in itself. So, we ask our Mom.  Then we ask a girlfriend.  We hope that maybe someone else will make the decision for us.

We want a fortune teller to magically appear, gaze into her crystal ball, and tell us what the future holds.

We want the right answer.  We want certainty.  We want to know how it’s going to turn out. We are so unsure of ourselves.  We are afraid.  We are so in need of making the “right” decision so that we get the outcome we desire, that we become paralyzed, and teeter on the edge until we are forced into a decision or the opportunity passes us by.

I hate to break it to you, kitten, but nothing in life is certain. Well, except death and taxes, as the saying goes.

And though nothing in life is certain, I can tell you what is certain:  the deeper into fear and indecision we foray into, the deeper into living a life of going through the motions we go. If you want to dive into living with your whole heart and live consciously,  you’re going to have remind yourself that holding out for certainty is crippling.

So, what can you do to stop wishing for a crystal ball and move away from a need for certainty? Though I know some incredibly wise people, not even the wisest and most insightful of them have all-knowing crystal balls.

What they do have, though, is these nine qualities, traits and attitudes.

  1. They allow healing. They let go of grudges and he withholding of forgiveness and allow their hearts to heal. Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting, it’s simply about not letting the past have control over your future.
  2. They know their core values. Values aren’t just a tossed about word, it’s a way of seeing if something fits. When actions and values are aligned, life feels content, in harmony with your purpose – you have peace of mind, even in challenging times.
  3. They get clear about what they desire in their life. While understanding that nothing is certain, by knowing what you really want to be and create allow you to make decisions that are more likely to have an outcome you also desire.
  4. When they’re a little unsure of what they desire, they get clear about how they want to feel and then move towards that desired feeling. In fact, they often set goals around how they want to feel.
  5. They create a vision. They know that there’s no certainty in life, but by creating a vision of how they want areas of their life to look, they have a general plan for next steps.
  6. They take action. They understand that dreaming about something isn’t the same as doing it. They take all the delicious clarity they have in their lives and go for it.
  7. They trust their gut. Your intuition is actually your amazing and fabulous brain taking in all the inputs and experiences of your life.
  8. They practice courage. Fear is an inevitable part of living. Practicing courage isn’t about a total absence of fear, but choosing yourself and love over that fear.
  9. They have faith. Yep, they have faith that even if they’re afraid or make a bad decision, it’s all going to be ok.

Darling, it’s time to begin letting go of the need for knowing  that things are going to be exactly like you want them to be, and have faith that life will surpass what you dream.

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Debra is a life coach, writer, and tarnished southern belle. She resides in Dayton, OH.
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