When it comes to creating change, most folks will tell you that you have to move away from comfort and into discomfort in order to make it happen. You’ll see phrases and quotes like
- “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone…”
- “Move out of your comfort zone. “
- “You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable…”
I have to be honest: I don’t completely agree with that “fact”.
It isn’t that I don’t understand the necessity to do things differently in order to create growth. Recently, in my newsletter, I shared how I knew that in order to be who I am at my core, I was going to have to do something clearly out of my comfort zone (drive in California traffic!).
No, darling, I’ve come to fully understand that if you are really going to grow into who you were meant to be, you need to embrace the understanding that sometimes change and comfort must coexist.
I don’t buy into the “truth” that comfort always equals complacency. I don’t believe that in order to thrive and grow, you have to constantly push yourselves out of your comfort zone. I don’t believe that pushing yourself to always “live on the edge” is going to make you a better person.
Though this may be unpopular, here’s what I believe to the depths of my toes:
Too many people push themselves beyond exhaustion and are dissatisfied with their lives because they buy into the message that comfort equals mediocrity.
They believe that change and comfort cannot happen at the same time.That longing for comfort equals playing small.
They believe that their desires for hearth and home and comfort are “silly” or “boring” or simply “settling.” Baby, we need to shed the shame of ordinary desires and understand that these “unimportant” desires and goals are actually critical to the overall enjoyment of living.
No, darling, longing for comfort isn’t about complacency or settling.
Change and comfort can coexist.
No, I don’t believe in giving into your inner two-year-old and never leaving your comfort zone. Yes, I believe that there are times we have to really step into the fear and make bold changes. Yes, I believe that sometimes, you have to take a giant leap of faith. Yes, you do need to live on the edge at times.
But darling, you have to have some moments of comfort. You have to come back to center, and re-charge.
Comfort is often a sign from your soul that you are needing to integrate new knowledge, skills, or ways of being.
I’ve come to understand that in order for me to step into the most powerful version of who I am, I need periods of rest and comfort. My soul needs respite (and a chance to catch its breath) after big changes and shifts. Because, baby, if I don’t take the time for quiet and rest, I’m never going to be able to hear the voices of my heart guiding me towards the next step.
If you’ve in the midst of soul growth and new ways of being, consider seeking comfort as a way to let that growth settle. Easy ways to do this are eating familiar foods (over and over again if necessary) or wearing a “uniform” each day. These are ways to allow your brain (and soul) to soak in your new wisdom without getting distracted around small decisions.
Give yourself permission to not only long for comfort and seek comfort, but to allow yourself to experience and explore comfort.
To embrace the understanding that yes, darling, change and comfort can coexist.
How are you going to truly love the everyday moments of your life if you don’t allow yourself to revel in the every gloriousness of the everyday comforts? Like a morning ritual of coffee with your partner, or snuggling on the couch with a good book.
If you NEVER revel in comfort, purposely go out of your way to do things the hard way, and are always looking for what the next step is, then I would encourage you to ask yourself these questions:
- Am I allowing myself to thrive in my life?
- Am I grateful for the good things in my life or am I always looking for more?
- What am I numbing myself from feeling?
- What in my life am I not facing?
Look, I know my views on comfort may not be popular or the way most coaches would look at creating change, but I’ve never thrived on popularity. I’d rather be un-popular and living a daily life that I love than be living in dissatisfaction with the belief that I need to be constantly seeking change.
How about you? What can you do to find that balance between living on the edge and reveling in comfort? What can you do to create a daily life that you love? How can you allow for growing into who you were always meant to be while allowing your growth to settle in?
How can you experience comfort without complacency?
How can you give yourself permission to let change and comfort coexist in your life?