It seems like only yesterday we were celebrating a new year, yet here we are halfway through the year. For those of us in the United States, the 4th of July Holiday celebrating Our Nation’s Birth and independence marks the down-slide side of summer. So let me ask: are you choosing to pursue your happiness?
We see the signs that Fall and heading back to school or imminent. So, we plan one last trip to the beach, one last summer BBQ and one last carefree day of no alarm clocks.
For those folks who began the year with the best intentions of staying true to their resolutions, the arrival of July may cause them to feel a little panicky. Maybe you swore you’d get healthy this year and are skipping your workouts and dining via the drive through. Maybe you swore that this was the year you’d finish your novel and believe you haven’t made enough progress towards completing it.
You long to bring your dreams into your reality, but lack of progress frustrates you.
Sometimes, it just feels easier to throw in the towel. You listen to the hateful voices of Your Inner Critic, Fears, and Doubt when they say things “you never do manage to meet your goals” or “may as well give up til next year.”
But darling, you don’t have to panic. You don’t have to give up until next year.
In fact, I see the 4th of July holiday as inspirational. Our forefathers wrote in the Declaration of Independence that we had the unalienable right for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
So, let’s be frank, darling, what would make you happy?
I very clearly remember the days when I believed that happiness wasn’t in the cards for me. I believed that someone like me only experienced disappointments. That I could dream about living a life that felt nourishing and fully engaged, but it was only a pipe-dream. That I could live deeply in my imagination of things I would One Day Do when my Life Got Easier, but deep down believing that it would never happen.
I believed that I was forever stuck: being in an unsatisfying and passionless marriage, believing that because my kids weren’t perfect, I was a crappy mother, and believing that my only escape could be found in work and in books.
Then, I finally got the courage to realize that happiness would never be mine if I didn’t choose myself and my own happiness.
Though I never wanted to believe it in those days, each and every one of us has a choice to create the kind of life we dream about.
I know it’s easy to look at my “Instagram Perfect“ life and think: well, she can say this because she’s has it easy. She’s an empty nester, so there are no kids to worry about. She has her own business, so there’s no work stress. She has a supportive partner, so of course she feels nourished and loved.
And that, my darling, is a big load of crap.
I deeply love and adore my life, but it doesn’t mean that I was given a silver platter with “happiness” on it. I had to decide that I wanted to BE happy. Each and every day, I have to show up for myself, do the work my soul is begging me to do, fight for my happiness and doggedly pursue my desires.
The path in life wasn’t strewn with only roses, there were lots of thorns, too.
I’m not going to lie to you and say that it was easy, but each thorn has been worth it. Choosing yourself and choosing to pursue your own happiness is the most valuable work you can do in the world because you, my darling, are worth it.
I can speak so passionately and intimately about choosing to create a daily life that feels nourishing and supportive because I have been deep in the pit of despair.
Let me share a piece of compassionate wisdom that I didn’t want to believe for a very long time: you have a choice and are always in choice. You are never too old, too fat, too far gone, or too tied to the fate of your upbringing or circumstances to move forward and change.
You can choose to begin the healing process.
You can choose to slowly pull away the layers that you’ve put up around yourself. You don’t have to define yourself by the way others see you. You get to choose to grab the reins of your own life. All it takes, darling, is that first tiny step towards what you desire. I’m right here, cheering you on.
The daily life you dream of is waiting to become your reality. It begins with committing to achieving at least ONE dream or goal before another new year rolls around.
That’s it, my dear. That’s the first step. Decide that you are going to pursue your own happiness.
Sometimes, our dreams seem incredibly out of reach or just too big. We forget that each movement towards our dream is a success. Though time may seem to make fools of us and our dreams, in all truth, darling, there is still time to bring your dreams to fruition this year.
Then, my darling, take inspiration from what the forefathers wrote about.
You choose your LIFE and become devoted to yourself and your desires. Liberty becomes an important choice. You make the choice to emancipate your mind from the excuses that are keeping your dreams from freely being a part of your daily life.
You choose to pursue your dreams because you deserve your own happiness.
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