One of the biggest barriers to happiness is waiting for the big experiences in life to usher that happiness in. Yes, I’m talking about weddings, trips around the world, and the arrival of new family members. Yet, I’m here to tell you that I found happiness by recognizing three moments of perfection before 8 AM on an ordinary Tuesday morning.
Though they lasted mere seconds, my heart was awash with gratitude and my soul was bathed in love. One happened during that twilight between dreaming and waking as a crisp breeze floated through the window. The second occurred as we were making our daily transition of JB heading off to work and me moving into my workday. The third made itself known as I was having coffee on the deck, watching the sunrise and opening up my journal.
I wanted to call a dear friend and tell her of the moment the light bulb clicked on and I began to recall those infinitesimal moments of perfection, but it was certainly too early for a phone call. So, I breathed in, closed my eyes, and spent a moment in prayer for my blessings.
This quote from Rumi stayed on the edges of my brain for the rest of the morning:
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” –Rumi
I don’t share this story about an ordinary Tuesday morning to brag or give evidence about how perfect my life is. My life is far from perfect, and I have just as many messy and crazy moments as I do perfect ones. To be honest, I don’t share a tenth of the really beautiful moments beyond my closest circle. Because people that aren’t able to find their own happiness – or looking to someone or something to fix their life – love to make those passive-aggressive kind of statements designed to make you feel egotistical or small.
I share this moment of perfection – and this particular quote – with you on another ordinary day because I know that the OLD me wouldn’t have noticed a single one of these sacred flashes.
No, darling, the old me would have rushed right past every single one. I would have been in too much of a hurry to get from HERE to THERE. I would have pushed them away as being “good” (let alone perfect) because they weren’t big or grand or earth-shattering.
And, oh, baby, the OLD me would have been that snarky girl if anyone shared the details of how incredible those moments were. She would have thought “Oh, well, doesn’t Little Miss Perfect have an easy life” or “She’s such a braggart.” Or “She’s so full of crap. Her life is just as crappy as mine is, so she’s putting on airs to pretend she’s better than me.” Or “That’s just stupid. Or Why doesn’t she do something really important instead of seeing these simple activities as anything special?”
Oh, yes. I was that skeptical, heavy-hearted shrew that didn’t know how to find the love.
So what changed? How did I go from the cranky gal looking for the holes to the peaceful woman discovering miracles? I’d love to tell you it was a Magic Pill or I was rescued by Prince Charming, but the truth is that it was a series of small steps and shifts.
How did I learn to seek my moments of perfection in the ordinary every day?
- A Gratitude Practice became a part of my daily life.
- Shedding the things that no longer served me was critical. I began with physical clutter. Beliefs that kept me bound to old ways of living. This also meant shedding the drama queens and people who were constantly complaining about the world.
- Clarity, while sometimes painful, became my best friend. Because when I got clear on what I really wanted, it allowed me to love my life more. Not just big picture stuff. But the tiniest details of living.
- I asked myself the hard questions. I stood naked within my own truth and accepted the reality of where I was. And in those explorations, I understood that I needed to allow myself to stop feeling ashamed of my desires that seemed plain or ordinary. Going BIG isn’t always the answer.
- Speaking of desires, I stopped living in the if-then way. I stopped waiting for my life to BE perfect in order or me to love it.
- And then, my darling, I gave myself permission to not only dig into my desires, but seek them and cultivate them.
- That demanded that I finally understand the difference between choosing love with a mind of abundance rather than choosing fear from a mind of lack. That means that sometimes, I had to step into what felt like fear.
- Choosing to no longer be a bystander in my own life meant it was time to start taking action. Learning that love was my birthright. invited me to no longer hustle to prove my worthiness of being loved.
- Instead of looking for what was wrong, I began seeking what was right.
Most importantly, I committed to doing my work.
Yes, my dear, committing to doing the work that I was called to do was key. That meant looking for the miracles that were already present in my life. Rather than fondle old stories, I committed to heal old wounds. In the commitment to do my work, I had to seek to destroy the barriers to loving myself and my life. Which meant sticking it out. Even when life got painful.
Darling, when you see the moments of perfection in your everyday, messy life it helps you understand that you can be happy. While also understanding that there is no magic pill or fix.
Committing to do the work helps you shift your entire being for it allows you to recognize the love that already exists within you. You can shift your world by seeing the miracles that are simply awaiting your notice so they can unfold before you.
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