I had three perfect moments before 8 AM on an ordinary Tuesday morning. Though they lasted mere seconds, my heart was awash with bb3c2c5f0af75d8f214f3c92ea57a393gratitude and my soul was bathed in love. One happened during that twilight between dreaming and waking as a crisp breeze floated through the window. The second occurred as we were making our daily transition of JB heading off to work and me moving into my workday. The third made itself known as I was having coffee on the deck, watching the sunrise and opening up my journal.

I wanted to call a dear friend and tell her of the moment the light bulb clicked on and I began to recall those infinitesimal moments of perfection, but it was certainly too early for a phone call. So, I breathed in, closed my eyes, and spent a moment in prayer for my blessings.

This quote from Rumi stayed on the edges of my brain for the rest of the morning:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” –Rumi

I don’t share this story about an ordinary Tuesday morning to brag or give evidence about how perfect my life is. My life is far from perfect, and I have just as many messy and crazy moments as I do perfect ones. To be honest, I don’t share a tenth of the really beautiful moments beyond my closest circle. Because people that aren’t able to find their own happiness – or looking to someone or something to fix their life – love to make those passive-aggressive kind of statements designed to make you feel egotistical or small.

I share this moment – and this particular quote – with you on another ordinary day because I know that the OLD me wouldn’t have noticed a single one of these sacred flashes.

No, darling, the old me would have rushed right past every single one. I would have been in too much of a hurry to get from HERE to THERE. I would have pushed them away as being “good” (let alone perfect) because they weren’t big or grand or earth-shattering.

And, oh, baby, the OLD me would have been that snarky girl if anyone shared the details of how incredible those moments were. She would have thought “Oh, well, doesn’t Little Miss Perfect have an easy life” or “She’s such a braggart.” Or “She’s so full of crap. Her life is just as crappy as mine is, so she’s putting on airs to pretend she’s better than me.” Or “That’s just stupidOr Why doesn’t she do something really important instead of seeing these simple activities as anything special?

Oh, yes. I was that skeptical, heavy-hearted shrew that didn’t know how to find the love.

So what changed? How did I go from the cranky gal looking for the holes to the peaceful woman discovering miracles? I’d love to tell you it was a Magic Pill or I was rescued by Prince Charming, but the truth is that it was a series of small steps and shifts.

  • I created a Gratitude Practice.
  • I began shedding what wasn’t serving me. Physical clutter. Beliefs that kept me bound to old ways of living.
  • I discovered that the real juice of life is in in the daily acts of living.
  • I got clear on what I really wanted. Big picture and small details.
  • I stopped allowing myself to feel shame because many of my desires were plain or ordinary.
  • I gave myself permission to not only dig into my desires, but seek them and cultivate them.
  • I stopped living in the if-then way. I stopped waiting for my life to BE perfect in order or me to love it.
  • I looked for the miracles that were already present in my life.
  • I committed to doing my work. I committed to heal old wounds. I committed to seeking the barriers to loving myself and my life. I committed to sticking it out, even when it got hard or painful.
  • I learned to create a vision and written plan for not just my business, but my life.
  • I began a regular process of reviewing my goals.
  • Instead of creating resolutions, I began choosing a word (or three) to serve as a focus for my year. Touchstones help keep my daily life congruent with my desires.
  • I asked myself the hard questions. I stood naked within my own truth and accepted the reality of where I was.
  • I stopped hanging around people who wanted to bring me down.
  • I learned the difference between choosing love with a mind of abundance versus choosing fear with a mind of lack.
  • I finally understood that you have to step into what you really fear. That sometimes, choosing love is about moving into that fear.
  • I allowed the real me to begin to surface. I stopped trying to be a chameleon in order to be accepted.
  • I became an active participant in life, instead of bystander.
  • I finally understood that love was my birthright. I finally understood that I didn’t have to hustle to prove myself worthy of being loved or accepted.
  • I sought to find the traces of love in situations I didn’t like.
  • Instead of looking for what was wrong, I began seeking what was right.
  • Did I mention I dug in and did my work?

I learned to see perfection in my incredibly messy and imperfect life when I finally accepted that there was no quick fix to being happy. And yet, in a way, there is a quick fix in the choice to see all the love and perfection that life has to offer. You see, darling, this isn’t about me.

This is about YOU.

You can shift your life by seeking the love that already exists in it. You can shift your world by seeing the miracles that are simply awaiting your notice so they can unfold before you.

Want a little help unearthing your moments of perfection? Celebrate who you are becoming. Celebrate Yourself and Your life. Isn’t it time you fell in love with you? Become Besotted.

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Life coach Debra Smouse helps women feeling overwhelmed by life and/or their schedule recreate their life into one worth falling in love with. A self admitted tarnished southern belle, she now resides in Dayton, OH with the man of her dreams.
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