Towards the end of 2014, I was blessed to spend almost two weeks in paradise (aka Hawaii). Though JB had to work, we did some exploring together and I woke daily to seeing the ocean outside our hotel window.
Paradise is a glorious place. The air is warm and the landscape is lush. The ocean is both powerful and soothing. You are surrounded with opportunities to be one with nature. From the moment you get off the plane, Hawaiian phrases are tossed about within the language bring a sense of excitement and mystery. Oh! And the feel of romance is just everywhere thanks to the gorgeous leis and sweet drinks (with umbrellas!).
I could see how easily you could become lulled into the belief that living in paradise would certainly be the prescription to fixing anything (and everything) that’s wrong or broken in your life.
In fact, it wasn’t hard to overhear conversations at restaurants or on the beach from other visitors plotting how to move to Paradise or search for a second home so they could retire there. The lure is pretty powerful when you visit the islands – and not just Hawaii. I saw this same sense of desire from folks in St. Croix and in Florida, too.
The belief that a change of address will change you is a kind of if-then thinking. If I move to paradise, my life will be perfect lines up with the “if I lose 20 pounds, then…” or “if I write a best-selling novel, then…” or “if I fall in love, then…” And, well, of course a change of address changes you, but darling, it’s not going to automatically change everything about your life you don’t love.
There is no magic pill – no magic place – no magic person – that will “fix” things for you.
Moving to Paradise (or Paris or anywhere) isn’t the answers.
And let’s be clear about that. Darling, you are not a broken vase that needs to be glued back together. You are whole and don’t need to be fixed. So, yes, a change in address will change you because the activities of living shift us, especially big changes like a new job or new home.
But, eventually, no matter where you go, once things settle down, those things that are dissatisfying about your life will still be there.
I don’t mean to bust your fantasy about moving to paradise….but before you start looking that perfect condo in paradise, look within your heart and ask what you really desire. Because if you want your life to be different than it is, well, sugar, it’s up to you to make it different.It’s up to you to push aside the mind clutter and get down to what you need in order to live a daily life that is nourishing.
You need to learn about your wants. You need to dig into your deepest desire.
Ask yourself what it is about paradise that’s calling to you. Look at your environment and see what’s in the way and want you desire to add. Dive into what roles you’ve always played and compare them to the roles you desire to play. Make your top goal clarity.
If you don’t gain clarity around your deepest desires, then everything that is, on the surface, perfect, won’t feel that way.
So, if you’re tempted to run away to paradise, be clear that when you get there, you are still going to be the same person with a different address. But clarity around your desires? Oh, darling, that’s how you bring paradise to you no matter where you go.
Darling, you deserve to live a daily life that feelings loving, nourishing and supportive. And you don’t need a drink in a cocktail under a coconut tree to be happy because you, darling, you feel that sense of peace and happiness within you.
Are you ready to stop seeking paradise and create your paradise now?
From the 30 Days to Clarity Series: Clearing Brain Clutter: Discovering Your Heart’s Desire
Now Available in Paperback
With a collection of 30 intriguing exercises, Clearing Brain Clutter: Discovering Your Heart’s Desire helps you to peel away everything that gets in the way of your truest, deepest desires. By doing the work right inside the book, you’ll learn to create a life that’s more resonant with “the real you” than anything you’ve previously experienced. In short, you’ll forever change your life for the better.