Sometimes, darling, making decisions is hard. We run up against a big choice — a job change or a move— and suddenly feel lost. It isn’t just the big decisions that we can struggle with. When we get tired and overwhelmed, our brains short-circuit, and the next thing we know, figuring out what to eat for lunch seems harder than any choice we’ve ever made in our lives. When that happens, knowing— and changing— your decision making process can help you gain clarity.

We all have our own process for making decisions. Maybe you rely on logic. Perhaps your gut is never wrong. Maybe you just don’t make decisions at all and wait for life to choose for you. Whatever you do, knowing your process will open up ways for you to make those choices easier.

Knowing your decision making process helps you figure out what’s blocking you.

Much as we all wish otherwise, darling, no process is perfect. No matter how well your decision process works for you, sometimes you’ll run into choices that clog it up and bring everything to a standstill.

You might like to weigh the pros and cons and think your way out of any problem. But when you’re faced with two equally good (or equally bad) choices, you can end up paralyzed. Or maybe you trust your intuition to show you the way and then run up against an issue you don’t have a framework for.

That’s why you need to know your go-to decision making process. With that awareness, you can more quickly identify where you are stuck and find ways to work through (or around) it.

Knowing your decision making process gives you hints for how to switch it up.

I hear you, kitten. You have the decision process you do for a reason and stepping outside those habits is hard. But if you hang on to that process even when it isn’t working, you’ll just stay (or get more) stuck. Sometimes all you need to get unstuck is a new perspective, and switching up your decision making process can get you just that!

So, if you’re a logic person, give yourself the freedom to draw on your intuition when you need it. Sure, you can’t always figure out the reason behind those “gut feelings” right away. But you know what? Your amazing fabulous brain creates these feelings by taking in all the information and experiences you’ve accumulated and using them as a framework to deal with your situation. On the other hand, if you usually make choices based on intuition and emotion, maybe it’s time to take logic to the table and make a pros and cons list either in your head or on paper.

Switching up your decision process doesn’t mean the new process becomes your default. But it can give you some much-needed clarity to help you push through your choice.

Knowing your decision making process helps you know when to eliminate decisions.

Sometimes, the process isn’t the problem. The problem is that you ‘re suffering from decision fatigue. You spend so much energy on little decisions throughout the day that you don’t have any left for the big choices that come your way. So, maybe it’s time to eliminate some of those small, routine choices by building new habits. Can you get into the routine of always having a salad or a sandwich for lunch? Or start laying out your clothes the night before? These decisions might not seem like they take up a lot of mental energy, but darling, you’d be amazed what a difference not having to make them can be.

Another option: set up some if/then rules. Just like habits, these rules help you plan your course of action in advance. For example, let’s say someone constantly interrupts me and I’m waffling over how to respond. My if/then rule for that situation might be that if a person interrupts me two times in a conversation, then I’ll say something.

Knowing your decision making process lets you know when to be firm with yourself.

Maybe, though, your problem isn’t that you’re making too many decisions. Maybe your problem is that you aren’t making enough. If you constantly defer decisions until there isn’t any choice left, then, honey, it’s time to take control of your life. Big decisions with no clear right or wrong answer can easily linger for weeks, months, even years, stalling the progress of your life and of the people depending on you. If that’s you, start setting deadlines for your decisions. Tell yourself “by Saturday at 8 P.M. I will make this decision” or set a timer and make your choice before it runs out.

Letting life make your choices for you may seem easier. But giving up that much control won’t get you any closer to your goals. Don’t underestimate the sheer power of decision making!

In the end, darling, decisions might be tough. But knowing your decision making process will help you keep moving forward instead of getting stuck.

Do you need to clear out your mind so you have space to make decisions?

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By doing the work right inside the book, you’ll learn to create a life that’s more resonant with “the real you” than anything you’ve previously experienced. In short, you’ll forever change your life for the better.

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