Many deride the idea of a “geographic fix,” which means moving in order to make yourself feel better without doing any of the deep self-improvement work necessary to make a real, sustainable change. While it’s true that simply getting away from unpleasant circumstances won’t fix long-term problems that have more to do with your self-esteem, moving into a better, safer environment can do wonders for your life path as long as it is combined with deep work on your own mentality and perspective.
Deciding to change can be intimidating, and there are few things more overwhelming than choosing to pack up house and move. Regardless, this decision can open brand new horizons that may never have been possible in your previous circumstances.
Look Inward First
Our relationship with ourselves is our deepest and most long-lasting relationship, which is why it’s so important to love yourself first. While homes and possessions may go, your relationship with yourself will never change. This means that any time you are assessing a change in life, you need to first consider what is pushing this change and whether it can be achieved through self-love.
Are you feeling restless because you’re suffering from low self-esteem, or is your current location associated with bad memories, like a breakup? Instead of reaching for a geographic fix by packing up and moving, take a step back and ask yourself if you would still be happy here had that not happened. If so, then perhaps it’s best to work on this internally instead of house hunting.
Identify What’s Not Working
If you’ve gone inward and identified that your unhappiness isn’t to do with unresolved issues, then it’s the location, not you. For example, you may find that you want to be closer to a sense of community and that your current hometown doesn’t have the types of connections that you’re seeking, even if you go out of your way to find them. The crime rate may be high, leading to additional stress that stymies your self-improvement efforts.
Understanding the negatives of your current location can help you identify what’s most important to you when finding a new place. For example, if you’re most frustrated with the lack of outdoor green space, your heart may be yearning for a more suburban or rural location.
Find the Right Environment for Your Time of Life
As people, we move through many separate selves. Life coaches may refer to up to eight different phases of life, but one of the most popular ideas is the “Principle of 18,” which segregates a typical life into different 18-year chunks: the Dreamer, Explorer, Builder, Mentor, and Giver. This follows you from finding your mentors and building your identity, taking risks, capitalizing on opportunities, sharing your gifts, and reflecting on your life to give to the next generation.
While it’s possible to find like-minded people at all stages of life, it’s possible that your specific location isn’t meant to nurture your growth at this time. As an example, if you’re in your Explorer stage, you’ll want a vibrant and fast-paced place that encourages you to take risks, such as in the center of a big city like Philadelphia. During your Builder phase, when you’re growing your opportunities and drawing on your strengths, you might prefer to move to a place near the city center but filled with other people who are also in the prime of their career, like Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia or Uptown in Chicago. As you move further along in life, you may prefer somewhere quieter, such as a peaceful suburb.
Conquer Your Fears
Adults’ fears look different than that of children: we fear both success and failure. We don’t want to take risks that may not pan out because we understand that there is much more riding on our failures than when we were kids or teenagers. However, it’s important to interrogate those fears and understand if they are rational or irrational – as well as whether they would be the world-ending concerns that we believe they are.
In many cases, fears about moving are both emotional and financial. We don’t want to lose money on an expensive investment like a house, but we also don’t want to let go of the many happy memories we developed in a home, and we don’t want to lose our support systems.
Speaking to yourself as a supportive friend might can be immensely helpful in quelling any fears you may have about moving. Ask yourself what exactly you’re afraid of and how realistic it is, then come up with strategies for how to mitigate those concerns.
You can also look back on what happened the last time that you moved locations, if relevant. Back then, you might have needed some time to get accustomed to your new home, to feel like you belonged, but you ultimately settled into a routine – and you can do so again, too.
While moving into a beautiful new home is an exciting and challenging adventure, it is not a perfect fix.
Wherever you go, you bring yourself with you, which means that as long as you have the problems that urged you to move, you will find yourself tackling them again. However, finding a place that better matches your current needs can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth, helping you move into your strengths at your exact stage of life.
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