For the last decade, the underlying core and belief of my life has been to choose to love it. It doesn’t mean that I’m happy all the time, but each day finds at least a few moments of perfection. That’s a question I get a lot: how to love your life no matter what is happening. I know that it can feel challenging with the current crisis, yet I believe now this time is just as important to do that.
The question is valid and years ago, I didn’t quite understand how to make it happen. Now, though? No matter what’s happening in my personal or professional life, the decision to love my life no matter has shifted my world. And what’s happening in the outside world.
There is mighty power in decision. That’s the key on how to love your life no matter what.
Yes, I know you may be rolling your eyes that deciding to be happy is the key to loving your life. Or you may be saying that it’s easy for me to say. And I admit it that from the outside, I’m sure it looks easy. And sometimes it is. But not all the time.
Like the year I lost my father, dealing with grief and the exhaustion that brought made it tough. I didn’t talk about that publicly much, but each day I battled the blues, I also fought for my own happiness.
If you want to know how to love your life no matter what, you must first decide you are going to love it.
The truth of the matter is that the decision to love my life invites me to love it. And no, it isn’t always easy. But is life easy? Working on how to love your life no matter what is going on – especially when times are challenging – is worth it.
What that means, though, that when you decide to love your life, you will have to give up things. You have to decide that you are no longer going to be the victim in your life. That means you have to stop complaining and look for what is compliment worthy. You are going to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop or stop buying into the belief that happiness is for other people are luckier than you.
Along with deciding you are going to love your life, you are going to have to accept that you are worthy of happiness. Because you deserve to life a life you love. You deserve to experience happiness. That’s how you love your life no matter what.
Acceptance is another part of learning how to love your life no matter what.
Building up an acceptance practice will completely transform how you feel about where you are now. It helps you embrace who are, as you are. That means being willing to look in the mirror and see yourself for who you are. You have to be compassionate enough with yourself to see your soft spots and faults. And love yourself anyway.
Creating a mantra for accepting yourself helps, too. Something along the lines of: “I’m doing the best I can in the life I’m living.” Or I love my life and it loves me back.” Just repeating a simple statement to yourself when you’re feeling blah can make a huge difference.
If you want to love your life even when it’s challenging, allow logic to have its moment.
When we have a challenge, it’s super easy for our fear to take over. Especially if we find ourselves obsessing. Rather than allowing the challenge to take over, the best way to get logical is to go to the written page. Make a big long list of the facts, just the fact. You can acknowledge how the events make you feel, but don’t wallow in the emotion. No, darling, you write that down in black and white, too.
Instead of letting a negative path take over your life, step back for a minute and analyze the situation. Without blame. As if you were a scientist to understand what has happened. Then, my darling, you move on.
Clarity will always help you love your life.
When you ask how to love your life no matter what is happening, I would ask you what you want in life. What does happiness look like? How would it feel to love your life? What are your big dreams and goals? Can you describe an ideal perfect day?
I would also ask you to examine the vision you have for your life. And your plan to make it happen. Oh, don’t have a vision? That, my darling, can help you love your life. Because by being clear on your vision for life,you can fine tune it to fit your desires. And when a challenge arises, you can more easily course correct to continue pursuing your vision. And working your plan.
When you ask how to love your life no matter what is going on, don’t forget that requires mindfulness.
The thing to remember is that life is a journey. Along the way, we will face good moments and bad. The easy answer on loving your life is to focus on the good moments. I know that’s easier said than done. That’s because we humans are wired to the negative.
And you want to know what makes the bad moments worse? Obsessing over them. Looking at them with a magnifying glass and looking for all the ways you are wrong. When you begin to obsess, stop and breathe. Bring your mind back to the present moment.
Choosing to allow yourself to simply BE invites you to find a moment of happiness. Mindfulness and presence allows you to find beauty in the flowers on your dining room table. And allows you to savor that first cup of coffee in the morning. The invitation to find your moment of perfection no matter how tough the day may be. That builds momentum to love for your life more.
Last but not least, if you want to know how to love your life no matter what, you will have to remind yourself to do the work.
We each have seasons in our life when things seem to be going perfectly. We have a job we like and our personal life is going smoothly. It’s so easy to shout to the world: this is how to love your life no matter what! Because, of course, things are really good.
But then, something happens to knock us off kilter. Sometimes the small things add up: we can’t find our keys, drop and shatter a favorite cup, and then realize that the outfit we need to wear for a big presentation is at the dry cleaners (or won’t zip up!). All these little things can make us feel as if “nothing” goes right. And we go down the road of “oh, woe is me!”.
Other times, a big event occurs. One that knocks the breath out of us. Our best friend is diagnosed with cancer. A parent dies. we trip and break an arm. Our hearts are broken, so how can we love our life? No matter if it’s a big or small event that knocks us off kilter, the trick to loving your life no matter what is to remind yourself that you have to continue going the work to love it.
This isn’t a game where you do something once and it stays forever. No, darling, you are going to have to commit to doing the work to continue to love it. Time and time again. No matter what life throws your way.
This means that when life is super tough, then, my dear, you need to choose to fight for your happiness.
My dear, this is the one life you’ve been given to live. You deserve to love it.
No, life will never be perfect. That doesn’t mean that it’s not worth the work – and the effort to ensure that while you don’t demand perfection from yourself, you can choose to love it. You find the beauty in life no matter how tough the days or week may be.
Making the decision that you are going to love your life? That, my darling, is priceless.