Keeping Your Sense of Self When You Start a Family Later in Life

The data shows year after year that as women, we’re waiting longer to start our families. There are lots of reasons for this- from choosing things like travel and career in our younger years, to great fertility treatments essentially giving us more time so we don’t have to rush. And there are lots of benefits to starting your family later in life- your relationship is more likely to be solid, you’re more likely to be financially secure and you also have a better sense of self.

However, the latter can be a double-edged sword- having a very firm grasp of who you are is a good thing but of course it can be massively challenged when you become a parent. Unlike younger women who may be less certain and more flexible when it comes to their ego, when you’re a little later in life it can hit you harder. Here are some of the ways you can keep your sense of self even after starting your family.

Maintain your hobbies

As a new mother you won’t have all that much time on your hands, especially at first. But as things settle and you work out a new routine in your lives, try and maintain your hobbies and interests. Hobbies like blogging are great as they’re flexible and can be done from home, and you could even earn a little money on the side. Have a web designer create something beautiful for you to help your site look great and stand out and enjoy adding content to it on whatever topics most interest you.

Other hobbies from home could include things like cooking, baking and gardening- consider what you like to do now and how you could keep up with it once you have a baby. For example, if you like to exercise, you could think of ways that involve the baby such as power walking with the stroller or working out from home.

Keep Your Sense of Self by Going Back to Work (If You Want to)

Is your career a big part of your identity? For many women who have children later in life it usually is, so giving it up completely and becoming a stay at home mum might not be something that suits you. There’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to staying at home vs going back to work, it’s all down to your personal circumstances so never let anyone make you feel bad about it. Getting back to work can be one of the ways you can keep your identity, and as a bonus your financial situation is likely to improve if you can find the right childcare which isn’t too expensive.

Make time for your partner

Remember that the two of you created this new family together. Keep your sense of self by ensuring you don’t forget that you’re a woman, not just a mom. While having children will likely change the dynamics of your relationship, it can still be as good as ever. If you’re lucky enough to have loved ones who occasionally babysit then use this time to go out on dates and reconnect with your partner, you’ll both be much happier for it.