It’s easy to look at someone’s life from the outside and assume they have it together. I know that I am one of those women that people look at and think: she has it easy. But it wasn’t always that way. I have gone from overwhelmed and unhappy wife to struggling single mom to understanding how to love my life. And I owe it all to my inner sex kitten. So what is a sex kitten?

I define a sex kitten as the strongest, most confident, best version of myself. It was the qualities that I challenged when life was tough. The reminder that deep within my soul was a woman who deserved to have her deepest desires.

That version of myself?  Oh, darling, she got me through the days when I worried about paying the bills, wondering if I’d ever find love, and if I would survive my daughter’s teenage years with my sanity intact.

When you ask me:  what is a sex kitten, I tell you it was the woman I imagined I could be when I had it all together. She was that shining beacon to my heart on the darkest of days.

My inner sex kitten was the woman I knew that I could be one day. She was confident, happy, organized, and sexy.

More than a decade after dealing with the challenges of a failing marriage. After learning how to create a life that feels nourishing and loving. And after finally learning what it takes to have a happy and healthy relationship, the only thing I was wrong about was that I’d finally arrive to that mythical “there” and have a perfect life.

That future version of myself, that fabulous sex kitten, is always evolving and growing. And you know what? That’s a wonderful thing.

So if you want to know what a sex kitten here, here’s what you need to know:

In the process of reinventing myself, all thanks to channeling my sex kitten, I’ve learned to hone the traits that still make her the best version of who I am and who I long to be. Here are 30 traits of a sex kitten.

  1. A sex kitten is grateful for her blessings, but doesn’t settle.
  2. Even if she has a great life, she knows that she gets to desire more.
  3. She is the sexiest, sassiest version of yourself. And she is always there to guide you.
  4. She’s a woman who knows how to dance to the beat of her own drum. The choice to live life on her own terms is important.
  5. A sex kitten doesn’t define herself by outside expectations.
  6. She’s unwilling to sell her soul just to fit in. Because she knows this will destroy her from the inside out.
  7. It’s a woman that knows the power of lingerie. Because the person she most wants to impress is herself.
  8. She knows that confidence and a passion for life will always be sexy.
  9. Being strong and independent is one of her traits. However, she knows when to ask for help.
  10. She knows complaining isn’t going to help her find any solutions. When she finds herself complaining, she shifts her thoughts.
  11. A sex kitten is a gal who celebrates. She honors her own accomplishments. And the accomplishment of others.
  12. She knows what it’s like to be missing something in her life. So, she’s learned how to get what she needs.
  13. She is a woman who chooses to love her life as it is. And make changes from there.
  14. A sex kitten knows that she needs a vision for her life. Then she can create a plan to make it happen.
  15. Getting clear on what she desires is a sex kitten’s secret weapon.
  16. She knows the art of compassionate discipline helps her get what she wants. While also enjoying her life.
  17. Boundaries and non-negotiable standards help a sex kitten keep her life on path.
  18. In order to be the best version of herself, a sex kitten knows she sometimes has to be vulnerable.
  19. She’s someone that allows herself to feel rather than numb her feelings.
  20. She has learned that when she sets goals based on how she desires to feel, her life feels richer and more satisfying.
  21. Even when she gets lost in being busy, she learns to manage her life.
  22. A sex kitten is kind and compassionate. Especially to herself.
  23. When I define sex kitten, I would tell you that she knows how own her story. That means forgiving herself for past mistakes.
  24. A sex kitten believes in luxury. She understands that most luxuries are inexpensive, yet priceless.
  25. She’s a woman that no longer hustles for love.
  26. She understands that love and belonging are her birthright.
  27. Learning to be unapologetic is a trait of a sex kitten.
  28. Does a sex kitten have a perfect life? Nope. Yet she knows that even without perfection, she can curate a life she loves.
  29. If she has a life she loves, does that mean she’s always happy? Again, no. But a sex kitten knows how to be happy most of the time.
  30. What’s a sex kitten? A woman who no longer tries to be invisible. She is alive and present in her own life.

That sex kitten I channeled during the darkest of times?

She was a woman that loved feeling confident and sexy. And she always had the ability to laugh at herself. Because humor is important in life.

What is a sex kitten? Well, she sure knows how to laugh at her self

You may be wondering if I define a sex kitten as wearing five inch stilettos, cleavage baring clothes, and red lipstick. No, darling, it is not. It isn’t about being a size six or living a picture-perfect life. Unleashing your Inner Sex Kitten is about that inner confidence of knowing who you are and what you desire to create. It’s also about having deep faith in yourself as you courageously dive into living life on your terms.

Yes, she wore heels and pantyhose and clothes that made her feel good about herself. When you ask what’s a sex kitten, I would tell you she is defined by you. That inner sex kitten of yours doesn’t wear specific clothes or style her hair a particular way. She is defined entirely by you.

Want to be your own version of a sex kitten? Then be a woman who lives your life on your own terms.

If you are ready to let your own inner sex kitten be your guiding light in the dark, look at the traits of how I define a sex kitten. Simply choose one and cultivate it as you learn your way. As you become stronger and more confident in who you are, that inner light of yours will begin to shine. Brighter and brighter.

Even if you believe you’ve lost that inner spark, I know that you can rediscover it.  Sure, you just need to be willing to do the work. But deep down you know that you have the inner strength to rise. Because the journey to become the strongest, sassiest, and sexiest version of yourself is worth every moment.

I believe that the version of yourself that you unleash will be an even stronger and more vibrant being than you were at birth, because you have a lifetime of experiences to draw upon. Confidence and a passion for life will always be sexy. Unleashing your inner sex kitten is about knowing that you are worthy of love and belonging.

You can become the woman you desire to be. And you can define what a sex kitten means to you. I have faith that you can do it. Because, darling, you deserve to live a life you love.

Finding my inner sex kitten was how I learned to love my life. And finally just be happy.

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