For most of us in the United States, we are more than thirty days into our quarantine time due to the Coronavirus Crisis. For people who are basically healthy, the challenge is monotony and boredom. And focusing on the problem can add to anxiety levels. In order to help out clients and friends, we have been trying to find some positives of our time at home. So, I’ve been asking: what is your secret wish or desire for when life returns to normal?
While this can seem, well, hopeless to even think about when we have no idea when stay at home orders will be lifted, one of the best tools I know on managing your mind is to look to the future. Yes, it can feel challenging to make decisions when life is uncertain. However, I would challenge you to look for what’s working and what’s right in your life.
I can tell you it’s something I’ve been thinking about. A lot. Though I haven’t publicly shared my word for 2020, it’s DESIRE. And as such, I continue to ask myself what DO I desire?
I share this so that you can ask this of yourself, too. Tell me, darling, what is your secret wish for your post Covid-19 life?
While I have long believed that self-awareness, gaining clarity around your desires, and even breathing some life into a secret wish or two is good any time. It’s incredibly important for you to find a grain of positivity right now.
- Do you have a big, juicy, secret wish for life both now and later?
- What have you learned about how to better manage your mind?
- Are there new habits or routines you’ve created that you want to keep when we’re no longer quarantined?
- What bad habits have you seen broken that you don’t want to pick up again?
- How might those secret desires you’ve shot down in the past be exactly what you need to breathe life into?
- Are there cultural changes you see now that you hope translate to the future?
- Is there a way to find the silver lining in all this time at home so that my life is better on the other side of this crisis?
As with anytime you dig into your own self-awareness, be gentle with yourself.
If you are curious, here’s some of the secret wishes clients and friends have shared with me.
- Now that people know how it feels to not be “busy” all the time, they’ll carry that into post-quarantine life? Isn’t it time that we stop numbing ourselves with full calendars and living at a frantic pace? Will we finally stop the “hustle” culture on the other side of this crisis? That’s one of my secret wishes for many of my clients.
- Is it a crazy secret wish that we find daily life to simply be enough? Because one client said she has been able to find happy moments in the average day lately. Something she hadn’t been able to discover in her pre-coronavirus life. While this is tied to the frantic pace and edges of burnout she was living in, I can see why this is a desire.
- For those folks who were on the edges of burnout, will this time period allow them to regain their stamina and strength? Will seeing what rest feels like help us make it a priority in the future?
- A grandmother told me that her secret wish was that the education system will change. That folks will finally understand that not every child flourishes under rigid structure.
- Can we finally admit that the simple pleasures in life hold tremendous value? Because the secret wish and silver lining of this time for several of my friends was lauding how enjoyable a simple walk, reading a book, or doing a puzzle felt.
- One mom to a teenage girl told her secret wish was that the “Influencer” bubble will pop. She wants her daughter to see that there’s a difference between creating valuable content beyond posting Instagram photos in bikinis at the beach. Because that isn’t a realistic goal for most teens, yet it seemed like a very attractive lifestyle before Covid-19 stopped people from traveling.
- Another common secret wish thread from multiple folks was the sheer effort people are going through to connect. One friend reported connecting to a bunch of college classmates she hadn’t spoken with in more than a decade. And a client shared she’s talked to her sisters more now than she did all of last year. So, continued connection was a big wish for many.
- And now due to so many people being let go from their jobs or knowing someone that has been laid off, that now is the time to do something that they actually want to do with their career! Some are now feeling that they should complete that project management certification or course they stopped doing because they just didn’t have time. Now is the ideal time to make a clear decision on what we can do in our livelihoods to make us happy.
- Clarity around relationships is another secret wish that has been shared with me. Not only have some professed more love for their spouse, but a desire to continue making daily life more loving and nourishing. On the flip side of that, others have express how much clarity they now have around toxic relationships. Or relationships that just don’t work anymore.
One secret wish I hope you don’t make: for things to go back to exactly how they used to be.
While I hear you and totally understand why this is a wish for many, remember this. This experience has changed you. And you are now a different person. It’s impossible to go back to who you used to be. However, the upside of that is that you get to choose how you desire to evolve.
One of my wishes for you is that you look to hope and seek the silver linings you discover about yourself and your life during this crisis.