Choosing Well: How to Make Good Decisions Even When Life Gets Messy

Learning how to make good decisions is one of the quiet superpowers of creating a life that feels nourishing. Yet, it’s something that can feel hard. And challenging. Especially on days when life feels like it’s throwing choices at us from every angle. What to eat, what to wear, which meeting to attend, whether to say yes to that extra project, or even that glass of wine. By the time the sun sets, your brain can feel like it’s been run through a spin cycle juggling flaming swords. The truth, my darling, is that making good decisions is never about perfection or always knowing the “right” answer. It is about understanding yourself, respecting your energy, trusting your heart and mind, and navigating the chaos with curiosity, courage, and maybe a little humor.

Life is full of yeses and nos, and the way you make choices is uniquely yours. Just like a rainbow looks different depending on where you stand, your decisions are colored by your values, emotions, and energy. Let’s talk about how to make good decisions that actually feel aligned with who you are, instead of letting decision fatigue turn everything into a muddy gray.

One – Every Yes is Also a No

Let’s not sugarcoat it: every yes you give automatically becomes a no to something else. When you say yes to working late and that is a no to rest. If you say yes to endless scrolling on your phone, that becomes a no to reading the book on your nightstand. And saying yes to another obligation and that is a no to something quieter but deeply meaningful.

The hidden cost of decision-making can sneak up on you if you don’t name it. The next time you feel a yes creeping up, pause. Ask yourself what you are quietly saying no to. Sometimes the wisest choice is saying no upfront, so you can say yes to what truly matters. And darling, that is a form of self-respect.

Two – Your Heart and Your Mind Are a Team

You cannot make good decisions relying on only half your resources. Your heart is your compass. It knows your values, your desires, your truth. Your mind is your map. It charts the logistics, the calendar, the money. Good decision-making happens when these two collaborate.

Imagine your heart whispering, “This matters to me.” Then your mind responds, “Here is how we make it happen.” Ignore one, and you end up lost or stuck. Bring them together, and you navigate choices with clarity and confidence. Learning how to make good decisions is really about building this collaboration within yourself, where intuition and reason work side by side.

Three – Check Your Energy Before You Choose

Some of the worst choices we make happen when we are exhausted. Decision fatigue is real. Research says we make about 35,000 decisions every single day. By the time dinner rolls around, it is no wonder you find yourself paralyzed in front of the fridge, debating leftovers versus cereal.

Don’t make major choices when you are bone-tired, anxious, or hangry. Step back. Sleep on it. Take a walk. Let your nervous system reset. A decision made from fatigue rarely aligns with your values. A decision made from rest, reflection, and energy, even if imperfect, is far more likely to serve you. This is a critical part of learning how to make good decisions consistently.

Four – Small Decisions Add Up to Big Outcomes

We often give all our attention to the “big” choices: careers, relationships, moving cities. But darling, the truth is that small daily decisions quietly shape your life. The coffee you drink, the bedtime you keep, whether you open your journal or your email first, all matter.

A rainbow is breathtaking not because of one bold stripe but because of how all the colors come together. Your life is the same. Learning how to make good decisions includes honoring the small ones. These small choices, repeated day after day, create patterns that shape your health, happiness, and sense of self.

Five – Take Action

Preparing, thinking, researching, color-coding, and planning are lovely, but they are not the decision. The decision is the next step you take. Action transforms intention into reality.

So, my darling, when you have thought it through, felt it out, and checked your energy, stop spinning. Commit. Do the thing. Because a “good decision” on paper is theory. The real magic is in the follow-through. Taking imperfect action often teaches you more than endless planning ever could.

Learning How to Make Good Decisions is About Trust and Courage

Here is the truth, love: learning how to make good decisions is never about chasing a mythical perfect choice. It is about knowing every yes has a no, every heart needs a mind, and every little choice adds color. It is about respecting your energy, listening to your gut, and having the courage to act.

Your life is built one decision at a time. And the treasure is not waiting at the end of the rainbow. It is shimmering right there in the spectrum you create with every thoughtful, imperfect, courageous choice. Learning how to make good decisions is ultimately about trusting yourself and embracing the messy, colorful journey.