Create a Life You Love: Decide to Change

Sometimes, darling, I know that life feels impossible, immovable and unchangeable. We believe that we are stuck within a circumstance of life. We buy into the belief that you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. And because we see the nubile young bodies and faces on TV shows and in magazines, we believe that being 45 or 63 means that where we are in life is where we will always be.

We believe that if our partners would just be different, then we might have some tiny sliver of happiness. We want romance.

We want to be loved and appreciated.

Or maybe we believe that all hope is lost and we are doomed to live the rest of our days being miserable.

Let me be frank with you, darling.

You are never too old to create a daily life that you can love.

Life is never hopeless. There is always an opportunity to create changes.

You can choose to reignite your passions for all aspects of living. I’m talking about reigniting your sex life. I’m talking about the daily interactions with your partner.

I’m also talking about reengaging in those dreams that you believe are over: writing a novel, painting, gardening, or the redecoration of your home.

The first step is simply awareness: awareness of where you are in life and that you have a desire for life to change.

The decision to change is more incredibly powerful than you believe.

Then, it’s time to be both gentle and firm with ourselves by making peace with where we are. We take responsibility for our own happiness. And we begin to accept others in our lives for who they are, too.

We stop trying to change others: our partners, children, parents, in-laws, friends, and co-workers.

We accept that the only person we can change is ourselves.

We realize that there is no overnight success formula to any portion of life. Instead, we acknowledge that a single step in the direction of our desires is how we begin to create change.

Maybe we learn to say no. We say no to things that drain us.

And maybe we learn to say yes. We say yes to sex instead of no. We say yes to serendipitous moments and try something new.

We break the rules we’ve written for our lives. We understand that sometimes, we are going to piss people off because we are changing.

If we want romance, then instead of waiting for our partner to make grand romantic gestures, we make the plans for a romantic restaurant or make our partner’s favorite dinner with wine and candles.

If we want to feel more engaged in the world, don’t wait to learn things by osmosis: educate yourself by reading good books or reading the newspaper. We read the classics, listen to new music, and create conversations with interesting people.

We take flying leaps of faith into our deepest desires, knowing that it may not work out like we plan.

And this is what I have come to understand from personal experience and observation of my clients lives: when we become happier and more satisfied with our life and our place in the world, those in our lives follow suit.

The vibe of our homes and all of our interactions with those that we love feels more positive and supportive thanks to the simple choice to love our daily life.

Baby, you get to decide how the story of your life is written. If you aren’t satisfied, then baby, you must make the decision to create the change you desire in order to it’s within your power to create and life a life that you love.