Loving Life? Be Prepared to Piss People Off

L et me tell you something, darling.  Sometimes, creating a life that you love is going to rub people the wrong way.  In fact, it’s going to royally piss some people off.

"Stranger in a Small Town" by Mike Ludlow (1959)I don’t tell you this to discourage you from boldly stepping into your life.  I share this with you so that you aren’t surprised.

So, here’s the deal kitten.

I believe that we are born into this world knowing the right path for our lives.  We know by instinct who we are and what we are meant to create in the world.   And then, life happens.

We get in trouble for being too loud or too messy or too big. And so we begin to shrink into smaller, watered down versions of ourselves.  We do this in an attempt to be loved and accepted.

We believe that if we follow the rules and the shoulds of polite society, then we will be loved and accepted. Our experiences reinforce the belief that we must comport ourselves within very tight lines because to behave outside of the box of expectations will lead to  the withholding of affection  from those we love the most.

In an attempt to keep those we love happy, to stay safe, to keep ourselves from getting in trouble, to be loved, to be accepted, to be cared for, we begin to close off parts of what makes us unique.

We believe that our heart’s desires aren’t important and are simply an attempt by our inner child to draw us into mischief.

A nagging voice in the back of our minds that tells us we are missing something. And what has happened is that we have moved further and further away from what we were born to be in this world.

We chase love. We hustle for worthiness. We sell out in order to fit in.  We settle.  And what’s the result of that?

We feel unworthy of being loved.  We feel as if we don’t fit in

Our creativity languishes. Our fears take over.  The thing is, our soul knows that we aren’t being ourselves, so it won’t settle in. We are slowly but surely dying inside.

And then, one day, we begin to break free.  We remove the masks we’ve been wearing and begin to find out way back to the path we were meant to walk since birth.

It may not be the life of sheep or the way we are expected to exist behind the white picket fence.

But the life we are living feels lush and rich and oh so right.  

We have created a life that we are head over heels in love with.  We realize that we are finally at home within our own skin. Our daily lives consist of work that fulfills us and relationships that make our souls sing.

And there will be people in our lives that recognize the bright and shining beacons we have allowed ourselves to become. And they will applaud us and love us and tell us that we are so worthy of being loved and happy and satisfied with our lives.

(This is where having a coach can be the greatest gift to yourself)

And then, darling, there are going to be people who want us to Conform. To dull our brilliance.

People who are unhappy in their lives and want everyone else to be as unhappy as they are. There are the sheep that are in the midst of maintaining Status Quo and in their desire to Fit In and Be Loved by the masses, they believe that everyone else should play small and do what they should.

And some of these people will, frankly, be people that you love.  Mothers or Sisters. Adult Children or Old Friends.

People who believe they know better that we could possibly know.

And they will look at you in your besotted and smitten state with life and demand that you change BACK to the person you once were. The miserable soul that was not living or thriving but just existing.

Because maybe, just maybe, they can find some happiness in your miserableness.

And, darling, you have a choice.

You can shrink.  You can squeeze yourself back into a box that doesn’t fit the amazing being that you are.  Just so that you can satisfy the naysayers in your world.

Or you can allow people that you want to accept you and to love you and be happy for you and themselves be angry with you. 

They will be indignant that you dare create a life you love in your way on your terms.

Because when it comes to brass tacks, your daily life is lovely and all kinds of wonderful.

So, yes, darling, you will piss other people off for your choosing to not shrink or conform.

You will know to the depths of your soul that though your life may not be perfect and it may not be the choice of how others would live, you are living the right life for yourself.

And people being critical of how you live or being unhappy with you doesn’t mean that you should have to change.

Because the thing is this, kitten: each person must find their own happiness within themselves.  And if you are” to blame” for another’s life of misery, then the truth of the matter is they are unwilling to look within and fix what is right for them.

No matter how much you love someone, you cannot rescue them or fix things for them so that they can be happy.  It is their responsibility.

And let me tell you something, baby.  Choosing yourself – your right path will be, in the long run, worth it. 

Because at the end of the day, darling, the only one that has to live in your skin is you.

If you need some help finding your path or creating a life you love, Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar is a collection of the tools I used to become devoted to the vision of the life I desired. There are six modules of lessons, a companion workbook containing all the worksheets and writing prompts, and more.

purchaseMakeYourInnerSexKittenRoar

And, no, you don’t need fixing or to be rescued, but working with a coach can help the journey. You can bundle Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar with 6 coaching sessions.

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Life coach Debra Smouse helps women feeling overwhelmed by life and/or their schedule recreate their life into one worth falling in love with. A self admitted tarnished southern belle, she now resides in Dayton, OH with the man of her dreams.
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