Just because the old adage tells us that life is about the journey doesn’t mean most folks reflect that bit of wisdom. Instead, we focus on the end result of what we desire rather than honoring the process. We look to big dates on our calendar – the vacation, the high school reunion, the family wedding – to begin paying attention to the present.
We get so hung up on the end result that we lose sight of the fact that the juice of loving our life and being happy is in the process.
Researchers from Harvard found in their research on happiness , that our mind’s inability to be present actually causes us to be unhappy.
And the truth of the matter, darling, is this: focusing on an exact desired result is a surefire way to never quite feel at home in your own skin.
It’s a cycle that traps us – an if-then way of looking at life. It’s like waiting to buy new clothes until you lose weight, or believing you’ll finally feel successful when you finish that novel you’ve been wanting to write. So, what happens?
We miss that cute sundress that would look great on us today and make us feel confident in our own skin. We don’t have lunch with an old college friend who’s in town because we haven’t reached our “success” mark. We hide away from the world, waiting for our Big Moment so we can finally be happy.
Sugarplum, all that focusing on some mythical there, which we may or may not actually reach, is simply not a good way to live.
Life, however, is inherently uncertain. So, opening up to loving the everyday will allow you to love your life and yourself now, not when you reach some specific point in time or goal achieved.
And let’s face it: any kind of change your desire in your life is not going to be an event, it’s also going to be a process. So those goals you are reaching for? Those dreams you want to make come true? Getting there is a process. And the way to get there and be happy while you’re doing it is focusing on the process, not just the end result.
So, how can you re-train your mind to focus on the process of living your life rather than a specific product?
Here are ten ways to help remember that while the end game is important, learning to love the process of living will allow you to love your life now.
- Get clear on your why. All shades of truth around why you are reaching towards a specific goal or dream. Get clear around why a pinnacle date is so important, too.
- Get crystal clear on your personal values.
- Determine how you desire to feel.
- Write down your dreams and goals. Putting them to paper shifts our brain towards achieving them. By the way, if for any reason the goal (or important event) isn’t really YOURS, but something you think would make someone else happy, writing it down will clarify that for you.
- Make sure your dreams and goals are in alignment with both your values and how you desire to feel.
- Choose only one area of your life that you want to focus on shifting. When you try to “fix” too many areas of your life at one time, it scatters your attention.
- Clear your clutter: physical and mental.
- Connect to yourself through daily ritual.
- Get clear on your minimum standards for loving your life.
- Enhance the quality of your daily life by paying attention to the little things.
You do not have to settle for a life that is less than what you most deeply desire. I know that birthing your big dreams and goals into the world is possible and will lead to happiness. Just remember that all of life is a process, so you may as well celebrate the journey as you go.
Because you deserve to be happy and live a daily life you love.
Do you want to find a way to both set goals and enjoy the process?
You deserve to fall head over heels in love with your life. You, my darling, are the living embodiment of wisdom. Want some help?
From the 30 Days to Clarity Series: Clearing Brain Clutter: Discovering Your Heart’s Desire
Now Available in Paperback
With a collection of 30 intriguing exercises, Clearing Brain Clutter: Discovering Your Heart’s Desire helps you to peel away everything that gets in the way of your truest, deepest desires. By doing the work right inside the book, you’ll learn to create a life that’s more resonant with “the real you” than anything you’ve previously experienced. In short, you’ll forever change your life for the better.
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