A few years ago, I had this rigid life plan—color-coded spreadsheets, timelines, and a stack of self-help books that promised to make me “unshakeable.”
Spoiler: I shook. Often.
That’s the thing about life—it rarely asks for permission before flipping your plans upside down. It just shows up with messy hands and unexpected detours. And as much as I used to resent the unpredictability, I’ve slowly started to see those detours as something else: invitations.
The Life You Plan vs. The Life You Get
You map out your week. You write your goals. You build routines and rituals that keep you grounded.
And then?
Someone gets sick. You lose a job. Or fall in love. Or forget the grocery list and end up crying in the car for reasons you can’t quite explain.
It’s easy to see these moments as failures of discipline. But maybe they’re just reminders that control is an illusion—and living means responding, not just executing.
Sometimes life whispers. Sometimes it shouts. But it always finds a way to pull you back into the present.
Not Everything Needs to Make Sense Right Away
We’re taught to strive for clarity. To “connect the dots” as we go.
But most of the time, the dots don’t connect until much later.
The job you hated taught you what boundaries felt like.
The relationship that ended made room for the one you’re in now.
That random Tuesday where everything went wrong? You laughed about it a year later. (Eventually.)
The trick is to keep going, even when the meaning isn’t clear yet. Keep showing up. Keep feeling. Keep trusting that your story is unfolding the way it’s meant to—even when it’s not following your outline.
Tiny Choices, Big Impact
I used to think big changes needed big gestures. Life overhaul. Major transformation.
But real shifts? They start small.
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- Saying no to the thing you used to agree to out of guilt.
- Turning your phone off for an hour and actually sitting with your thoughts.
- Choosing a quiet weekend over another busy one that drains you.
And yes, even something as simple as doing errands with intention. Like taking the time to visit a local shop instead of ordering everything online. I once popped into a small currency exchange in Barry, which locals recommended while visiting a friend. It was such a simple errand, but it felt… human. Personal. Like I was part of a slower, older rhythm. A reminder that life happens in the little interactions, not just the big moments.
Let Go of the Life Timeline You Made at 25
Most of us have some invisible checklist we carry around. By this age, I should have this. By that age, I should be there.
But what if life doesn’t care about your checklist?
What if the best parts of your story happen after you’ve let go of how it was supposed to look?
A late career change. A second marriage. Moving to a quieter town, even though the city was “the plan.” Real growth happens when we give ourselves permission to pivot.
You are not behind. You are becoming.
On Rest, Reclamation, and the Radical Act of Slowing Down
Here’s something I’ve learned the hard way: rest is not a reward. It’s a requirement.
You don’t have to earn your right to stop. You don’t need to prove how busy you are to deserve a soft blanket, a quiet day, or a cup of something warm.
Slowing down isn’t laziness. It’s how you hear yourself again.
When you stop rushing, you remember:
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- What matters
- What drains you
- What you actually want
And sometimes, you realize that the life you’ve been racing toward isn’t even yours. It was built on expectations that don’t belong to you.
So go slow. On purpose. Even if the world tells you that faster is better.
You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind
This one took me years to learn.
You’re allowed to want something deeply and then… not want it anymore.
You’re allowed to try and fail. Or succeed and still feel empty. Or change course without a five-point explanation.
Growth isn’t linear. It’s chaotic. Full of contradictions and messy middles.
But you’re not broken because your path looks different. You’re human.
So change your mind. Start over. Stay the same. Whatever makes you feel more like yourself, not less.
What Life Really Asks of You
Not perfection.
Not constant output.
Not endless smiles and shiny goals.
Life asks you to notice.
To participate.
To be awake for it—even the boring parts.
Especially the boring parts.
It asks you to stay curious. To forgive yourself often. To show up, even when you’d rather hide. To listen when something inside says, “This isn’t it anymore.”
And when something else says, “Maybe this is it.”
Because here’s the truth: meaning isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s a whisper in the middle of an ordinary day.
You just have to be still enough to hear it.
Final Thought:
If life hasn’t turned out exactly how you planned, good.
It means you’re living. Not checking boxes. Not faking joy. But feeling your way forward, one uncertain step at a time.
That’s not failure.
That’s freedom.
And you’re doing better than you think.
