The transition from 2013 to 2014 was different for me. I had evolved light-years from where I was a decade ago, yet knew that there would still be many more miles to go before I took my final sleep.
I wanted to more fully occupy who I am on a daily basis. I wanted to dive more deeply into who I am becoming. I wanted my actions to be more fruitful when it came to what I desire to create in this world.
Yet, deep down, I knew that I was missing a spark of something to fully embody those desires.
I wasn’t seeking overnight results, but I longed for some magic pixie dust to rain down upon me and allow me to discover the key between how I was already (consciously) living to taking it to the next level.
So, let me be honest, darling: I knew that I had the magic answer, but I just hadn’t stumbled upon the right question or prompt to allow me to uncover it.
Then it hit me as I was reviewing lessons from Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar and writing blog posts: it boils down to the twins: routines and rituals. Part one, the routine, is to bring action towards your deepest desires into your daily life.
But in order to make them stick (and not become more unconscious action), you have to become dedicated to those dreams and find a way to plug into them on a deeper level.
Part two is ritual.
Yes, the magic answer was something I already knew: we need ritual in order to connect us more deeply to who we are and to God. (Whatever your definition of God / The Universe / Etc. may be.) There is an innate human need to feel connected. To touch something greater. To be fed spiritually by a higher source.
And rituals satisfy that need.
Rituals offer you compassionate discipline and help to focus your attention and energy on a desired way of feeling. They will ground you regardless of what’s happening around you.
After numerous conversations with clients, soul sisters, and colleagues around the subject of not only creating goals and dreams, but going after them and making them a part of your reality, I’ve realized that taking that Dedication for your Dreams and Goals into your life doesn’t just leave you simply craving rituals, but demanding them.
My logical mind has been playing with this concept.
If ritual connects me to who I am, to God, to my bigger sense of purpose and being, then why did I often avoid it? Sure, I regularly begin the day with a ritual that grounded me: that first cup of coffee was like a prayer for me. But beyond the coffee? There wasn’t a subscribed set of things.
Sometimes I meditate. Sometimes I began the day with a walk. Sometimes I light a candle when I walk into the office with the intention of writing. My ritualistic actions and routines varied according to what was on the agenda for the day. Then those “sometimes” activities would click and I would have stumbled upon just the right combination of things to really plug into who I am at my core.
I found the tiny pieces of ritual that, even in a stressful day, would keep me feeling connected and not getting exhausted.
I learned that the days when I engaged in deliberate actions of consciousness and connection were the days that I did my best work. (And, for the record kitten, by ‘best work,’ I don’t mean ‘largest number of words,’ but ‘the most profound words’ – and not having coached a ton of clients, but getting in deep with the clients I worked with that day. )
Because I’m logical, I know that in order to hone in on my successful routines and rituals, I had to catalogue them, so I began to jot down what I did that day.
Eventually patterns emerged.
What connected? What felt empowering? Where was the love? What did I eat? Where was the truth? Where was my vulnerability? What kind of stillness did I give my mind? What kind of movement did I give my body?
How organized and prepared was I for the day? Did I journal? Did I write down my dreams? How far into the morning was it before I checked email? When did I begin engaging in Social Media?
At the end of the day, what allowed me to feel open, loved, tender and powerful? What made me feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and frazzled? What felt like I was trying to hard? What felt like the real me?
Written in my journal on December 31st of this past year is a single line of intention around how I desired to experience 2014:
“Passionate: full-time devotion, not part time love”.
There was the pixie dust I needed, right before me. Written in my own hand in my journal.
Yep. The answers were all about being devoted to the dream, not offering it a tiny piece of my heart. It was about being devoted to what was on tap for the day. It was about making sure I was passionate about my rituals, not doing them as if they were a prescribed checklist.
The answers were all about being devoted to who I am naturally, which is someone that doesn’t want an endless list of things to check off in order to be able to do my best work. I need to jump right in and do it. I want it to be efficient.
Don’t get me wrong: I love the idea of having two hours to mindfully go through every possible thing on the list that makes me feel the love. Sometimes, I may do every single thing – coffee, journal, go for a walk or bike ride, meditate, go to yoga, etc.
But I also know – logically, instinctively, soulfully – that it’s not the sort of thing I have the patience for every single day. The real secret of those rituals is that many of them were tiny in the time they actually took, yet giant in their impact on my soul.
I need rituals that are efficient and deep. I need rituals that connect me to God, but don’t disconnect me from the real demands on my schedule. And I’m betting, darling, that you do, too.
You see, I would go so far as to say you NEED rituals. Your dreams DEMAND dedication. Your soul INSISTS you need to have faith in the little voice inside you.
So, how are you going to feed that need? How are you going to become devoted to yourself? How are you going to deepen your faith in your desires? How can you honor your dreams?
Begin with your morning beverage and make it mindfully. Begin with 3 minutes of meditation. Begin by stating (out loud) your intention for the day. Begin by choosing a quote for the week and read it every morning and night. Begin by choosing a mantra for the week, and writing it on a post it that you stick on your bathroom mirror. Begin by simply sitting quietly on your porch for two minutes. Begin by saying a prayer and lighting a candle as you begin getting ready for the day and blowing that candle out as you walk out the door to work.
Rituals require that we slow down for a few moments. And this, my darling, is good. Because, baby, we can’t live a life we love if we rush through it at a hundred miles an hour.
Then, get logical. What felt like love? What felt like connection to yourself? What felt like you were a full time lover of your own dreams? What, at the end of a long day, allowed you to look back and say THIS allowed me to feel like the REAL ME?
Here’s your magic pixie dust experiment: become devoted to one or two of the rituals for a solid week and see how that impacts your heart and the way you feel about your work. Strengthen your dedication to your dreams with this devotion.
Each and every one of us has the answers deep within us. We have magic pixie dust running through our veins. We just need a way to release that into our own lives so that we can impact our own little world.
Become dedicated to your dreams. Bring ritual into your daily life in some way. Isn’t it time that your dreams received your full-time devotion and not your part-time love?