I believe that confession is good for the soul, so here’s a personal confession: I have some big goals this year around my writing, yet the first quarter of 2013 was bywilliamturner_esquiremaazinespent with me being a gypsy.

Now, while I have a gypsy soul when it comes to the exploration of my deepest desires via travel, being a gypsy is not a way to be productive when it comes to writing.  On any given day, you would find me and my laptop in various places around the house.  Sometimes, at the island in the kitchen.  Sometimes on the couch (where the temptation of the TV would call to me).  Rarely would you find me in the office. I wandered around the house, never setting up shop anywhere for too long.

My gypsy writing was having an adverse effect on my productivity.

Why was I giving into gypsy working? To be flat out honest: my wants were scaring me and baby, there was all kinds of resistance.  Every person on “Team Debra” was telling me that I needed to write.  That what I have conceptualized is meant to be born into this world.  And when I planted those beautiful seeds in January, all kinds of dirt came up.

It never fails, darling, that when you plant a seed, the first thing that surfaces is the dirt the new sprout is displacing.

Here’s the truth, darling:  sometimes, we get in our own way.  Sometimes, we do everything in our power to distract ourselves from what we most desire.  Sometimes, we plant these beautiful seeds of dreams and desires, and get stuck in the dirt for a bit.

So, what’s a gal to do when she’s stuck in the dirt?

The very first thing to do – every damned time – is to just be honest with ourselves and acknowledge it.  Then, the next step is to stop beating yourself up and accept it’s where you are today, but it doesn’t mean it’s where you’re going to stay.

It’s time to get curious and ask yourself some questions:

  • How long are you going to stay in the dirt?
  • What are you going to do to get out of the dirt?
  • What do you need in order for life to be congruent with your goals? What is not happening so that you can be congruent with who you want to be?

I based my decision of “how long” on my calendar.  We had a trip to Copenhagen planned, so I chose a week after returning home as the appropriate time frame for me.  There is a magical connection to giving yourself a deadline.

As to how I was going to get out of the dirt, I decided to get super curious and experiment.  What was my ideal environment for productive writing?  I wrote all over the house, in cafés, and at my desk.  I got curious about how I felt in each place both upon beginning and ending my writing time each day.

Then came that truly important third question:  what did I need in order to be congruent with my goals and who I want to be in this world.   What I discovered was that while I loved being mobile, there is a huge difference from being mobile and being a gypsy.

So, here’s the deal, kitten: Writing is how I deliver my message.  Writing is how I convey to readers tips, tricks, and my opinion on ways to create a life you love. Writing is how I create the lessons for all of my 30 Days to Clarity courses as well the Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar immersion.

The bigger picture of why I need to not be a gypsy during my writing time is bigger than a single writing project.

What I need in order to be the write the volume of words a week – and the quality I desire is a consistent work space.   I need my tools at hand.  I need quiet.  I need uncluttered. My environment in addition to my routines and habits all need to be congruent with who I am – and who I want to be.

At this point, you may be asking what the hell does this have to do with me?

What it has to do with you, darling, is everything.

Are you always putting yourself last?  Do you tell yourself that it’s ok disappoint yourself?  Are you tired all the damned time? Are you running a race like there’s a finish line somewhere, but you never get “there”? Do mornings feel like you are racing against an approaching storm?  Do you feel disconnected to your dreams? Are you surrounded by piles of clutter because life is too busy to get organized?

Your surroundings are like the soil in which the seed is planted. They can support your expansion, or keep you tied to old habits and patterns.

Your habits and routines aren’t random parts of your day, they are what creates your day to day life.

Your rituals – or lack thereof – are what tells your soul how you feel about yourself.

Your resistance to creating change in your life is crippling you.  Your crazy busy life is like me being a gypsy – it isn’t propelling you towards your dreams, it’s keeping you from them. Your refusal to ask for help is only adding stress.

In order to create a life you love, you must cultivate an environment that encourages you.

That means, clearing the clutter from your space, from you mind, and from your schedule.

If you want to create change – to feel loved, to feel worthy – then it’s time to show yourself love by taking care of yourself.

You do this by applying some loving discipline to your world with habits that support you, routines that nourish you and rituals that connect you to your soul.

Like it was time for me to return my laptop to my desk, it’s time, darling, to begin making your life congruent with what you want to create in the world and who you want to be.


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